Empath: what it is and what it isn't

Here's something that's not as well known as it should be. My generation, Millenials, had a significant amount of it often called "indigo children" or "sensitives." Still does. According to my estimate as a Green (nature-oriented, herblore-steeped) Witch, I'd say anywhere from 15 to 45% of Millenials overall have some form of psychic ability known as "empathy," which explains why so many of us are known for being caring and considerate, even to the point of excessiveness. The stronger it is, the more noticeable it is. For reasons unknown, gen Z seems to have this going on but at a higher percentage of the population. I'm not sure exactly what the percentage is, mainly because when you're a kid or a teen, it's hard to tell. Since I have been an empath since the day I was born (sigh... it sucks), I know a thing or two about it. Here's what I know.

Empathy definition: the psychic, non-mental-illness-caused ability to feel another person's, area's, or living thing's overall emotion and "vibes" aka "energy." Most humans have this to some extent, but it's usually not noticeable on a conscious level or even subconscious level unless something extraordinary happens. For empaths, depending on the strength of the ability, it usually comes with other symptoms.

• Believe it or not, most human beings are psychically sensitive to some extent. It's why a lot of people join religions. It feels right to them, and it feels pure, so they go for it. However, lately people have been abusing their talents as psychically sensitive beings in an attempt to force others to also feel what they are feeling. And here's how the average Joe can sense it for themselves. 1. Check in with your emotions whenever they are truly overwhelming you. If you are absolutely drowning in them, feel those feelings and identify and label them. 2. Write it down in a notebook specifically for these kinds of observations. 3. Get online and check the news on multiple sites from varying political viewpoints and sources, or at least on one site you can. 4. See what matches, on the news, what you're feeling. 5. Talk to someone else and see what their mood is. Cross-check their mood with your own. 6. Practice until you learn what is really this sense versus what is just your imagination. This takes a great deal of time. 7. Don't engage in witch hunts. Deeply consider who is spewing what and why, and if you do decide to take any kind of action make absolutely certain you do not harm the innocent. Bear in mind that until the modern world figures out this kind of thing is real and actually happens, "plausible deniability" is still in play. 8. Understand that forcing others to feel your feels is a form of rape. Don't you dare do it yourself.
• People who send out bad vibes like that also have a tendency to send out other things they shouldn't. To send it all right back I recommend: the Hoodoo Reversal. You can find directions for it and for beginning in Hoodoo in Old Style Conjure by Starr Casas, which is a good book. She's quite Christian, but you do not have to be Christian to do Hoodoo. You just have to have a belief in a higher Power that's only Good - to adapt her book to your religion is your business but you can do it. If you are concerned about messing up here, it would be in your best interest to remember a (very paraphrased) thing that Scott Cunningham (RIP) said. People who do unethical things with this sort of thing tend to, for one reason or another, disappear and not be seen or heard from again.
• Very odd experience as both an empath and as a psychic, take it or leave it: Yeah, the Deities are real. The good ones are for sure. It is... interesting to interact with them. I'd like to focus on one in particular, and that's who I call Mr. Jesus. Yes, Him. You'll probably find this out for yourself if you're curious but were you aware He's got a wicked sense of humor? He's also super chill and not at all a homicidal asshole. He thinks the Christmas jokes and memes, and memes about Him and Christianity are absolutely hilarious. He also specifically said to me that I do not have to be Christian and my other Pagan psychic friends have said He gave them the same message. As for the other Deities, I'm still figuring that part out, and He's been nothing but supportive of my Pagan journey. YES IT IS STRANGE. He knows how much brainwashing I'm grappling with to force me into Christianity, and as I was dealing with coming to grips with a. He's nice, b. the religion isn't for me, c. mine is perfect for me and I know it but I can't explain why, He just said "Many paths, one goal." And I figured I'd find more answers as I go along.

Symptoms of significant empathic ability, based on my own personal experiences, YMMV:

• Depresso. I have never met another empath who didn't have serious struggles with depression. With the world the way it is, if you don't have depression, there's a pretty damn good chance you are not significantly empathic. I have, however, met quite a few airy-fairy New Age types who claimed to be empathic, but were positive all the time of the toxic positivity sort. Thaaaat's a lie. These people are usually Narcissists, and not psychically empathic.
• Anger and negativity. The airy-fairy stereotype is perpetuated by people who would like to cosplay as empaths. In reality you just age faster and feel like shit basically all the time.
• In situations with a lot of people feeling very emotional, you respond like a tuning fork. For instance, you become the party animal at a party, if at religious services you start feeling frustrated and murderously angry for reasons unknown, in a school setting you feel like a wilting flower full of anger and despair (or if around your typical teachers, narcissistic, psychotic, and morally righteous), at sports matches you feel frustrated at life and unfulfilled and seeking a psychological escape - and most importantly, upon discussing these things with other people and not saying a word about empathy they explain or demonstrate that yes, indeed, that was their emotional state at the time. To doublecheck this, see how you feel in that area when nobody is visible to you. Walk in the hallways of a school, walk the outer perimeter of a sports match, spend time outside at a party. A pretty good experiment is to walk into a school during summer, when there is no school. Do you feel emotions that logically speaking don't make any sense to you? Specifically, if you normally feel miserable in school, do you all of a sudden feel happy when you walk in the door? Hmmmm.
• Sometimes the empath is the canary in the coal mine. In places with a lot of people who are totally untrue to themselves, lying to themselves/in denial, and suppressing their real emotions, desires, and motivations, guess who feels all that in spades and expresses that emotion? You guessed it. If you ever find yourself weeping for no good reason in an area where people insist they're "fine" and are wearing fake smiles plastered on all day, hmmm. I sometimes wonder how much of the 00s emo movement (and the goth movement, the punk movement, the metal movement, and whatever other movement involves people wearing black) was caused by this. Speaking of, at that period of time I really couldn't find most of the music and didn't know the names of the bands but now it's pretty much all available in nostalgia playlists on Youtube and Spotify and it's better than I remember! (band names for ya: Bullet For My Valentine, My Chemical Romance, All American Rejects, Weezer, Simple Plan, Hawthorne Heights, Killswitch Engage, Yellowcard, Metro Station, Wheatus, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park - the latter seems cringe but fyi has a gundam reference in every single music video and in my book that makes it cool so THERE)
• Having serious difficulties with personal boundaries, being confrontational, and saying "no," because looking in hindsight into your motivations, you realize that you felt the other guy's emotions and knew that they believed themselves to be 100% in the right
• For the same reason, being known as gullible, lacking self-confidence, and easy to mistreat or mislead, and possibly a goody-goody
• When something significant and cataclysmic happens in the world, you usually have some sort of mental or physical thing going on that is dramatic and noticeable before it hits the news. For instance, you start twitching, or have a feeling that something is seriously wrong. As an example, I had a dream that an earthquake happened before I woke up the next day and lo and behold, the Haiti earthquake. Or I panicked for a good week and told my family "check the news!" and they wouldn't tell me what had happened... Russia had invaded Ukraine.
• The younger you are as an empath, the more likely it is that you might have absolutely no idea who you are, what you want, or what you stand for because you're trying so hard to be "good" according to other people's belief systems that you don't have any idea how to think for yourself, on your own. Let alone be good at hearing your own inner voice or knowing what's what; it can be extremely confusing. The older you are as an empath the more likely it is that you see through people's b.s. so well that you decide to become a hermit.
• Although abusive relationships are extremely common anyway, most empaths have a history riddled with this kind of thing, "striking out" with pretty much every romantic relationship they get into for years on end. It's not "the indicator of empathy," but it certainly assists with the diagnosis.
• In some cases, such as global disaster, you can get so overwhelmed with emotions and feelings and beliefs and overall "vibes" that you can't even separate out what's yours and what isn't, let alone think straight. Usually this just feels like an overall feeling of "tis confusion!" and so you walk around like "bleh." Sometimes, however, it can be pretty serious in terms of the negativity. Right now, I know three or four empaths who are white-knuckling their way through life, and we're all putting up all the wards we've got. For empaths who don't know they're empaths, I imagine it's probably really bad.
• Knowing exactly how a person is feeling before they walk into the room and before you even see them
• Sometimes, being able to pick up on the chef's emotional state upon eating the food they made
• Having a very high success rate at guessing a person's or animal's emotions, physical state, trustworthiness, and overall kindness. You are known for "reading" people like a book. You are almost never wrong. A lot of the time, in fact, you will "read" a person who supposedly "proves you wrong" for a few years, but turns out to be fundamentally a certain way (good, bad, weird, etc.) in the end and you were right all along. Note: when I was younger I thought this ability was foolproof and often got stabbed in the back as a result. Be extremely cautious.
• Often empathy comes with other abilities such as increased intuition or other psychic abilities... these are a major pain in the ass and often get your happy ass carted to the nearest shrink, who then finds nothing mentally wrong with you. OR, the shrink does find something "wrong" with you, which turns out to be just their ploy to get you to pay for pills later on. Or, worst case scenario, you turn out to have both psychic abilities and mental illness. Oy vey.
• Feeling absolutely drained and sick, or just straight up crummy, unless you are in nature or at least commune with nature regularly, and usually alone. In a city this usually involves walking around at night, or chilling out on a roof. I imagine for someone else they might turn to religious services for a similar reason.
• Craving being near water, bathing often, showering often, and generally spending time near H20; in fact if your happiest times and memories are near the ocean that's even stronger as an indication since the ocean is itself quite a strong empath ward
• Needing a lot of time alone to feel better. Consequently being known as a loner and/or misanthrope. Which, the older you get as an empath, might become more and more accurate.
• Criticism or serious confrontation actually makes you get sick, as in, take a day off sick, or give you serious mental issues such as nearly (or actually) giving you a nervous breakdown or panic attack
• Shying away from all violence and brutality, even to the point of not liking violent movies, video games, or TV. Notably, not even liking tragedies or tragic stories, even in kid's movies. Also, having a history of being a pushover but not really understanding why
• When in any situation which logically speaking could cause "bad vibes," there's not just a possibility but a likelihood that you will develop mental and/or physical illness or have an exacerbation of any existing ones you've got
• Bending over backwards to help other people until you get sick or otherwise harmed. This is not usually just "being too nice," but straight up being self-sacrificing without a second thought
• In many cases getting along far better with plants and animals than you do with people
• 2020 and 2021 were far harder on you than they should have been, from a logical perspective.
• Being known to be one of those people for who mental state ties directly into physical well-being. Stress can be a bigger issue for you in the workplace and in communal settings than it is for anyone else.
• A history of being known as thin-skinned and not being able or willing to "play with the big boys" aka connive, scheme, and manipulate your way with Mean Girls type b.s. in social settings where the pressure is on such as schools, sports, competitions, and workplaces because if you win, they lose, and you instinctively care about them
• Feeling your best in the country or the big city, but not something in between
• After coping with this for a long time and realizing you probably do have it, trying your best to turn it off
• R/empaths have people matching up with your exact feelings for the week, few days prior to, and day of. Eerily accurately. I would like to suggest that if you find yourself in this boat, also publish what you do to ward. Again, what I've done (see below) is not sufficient. Given you know (gestures broadly) everything, that isn't surprising

It's pretty important to note that historically speaking, most empaths just don't ever mention we have a problem. So the only people who mention they're empathic are the fucking attention-seekers and New Age assholes wanting to be seen as special, and it's not something you want to be seen as or lumped into a movement along with. Social media mommy groups, crystal-loving conspiracy theorists, anyone who thinks that the world owes them something; everything is a good excuse to label yourself as empathic and therefore a victim and therefore not responsible for anything. The only reason I even bothered to put this page up was out of concern for younger generations. Because the instant you mention you're empathic, literally everyone else says "me too! I feel sad when my favorite TV show isn't on! I get used and abused and I'm way too nice! I get psychic visions too! I see vampires in my dreams and they love me! Aren't we special?" and you have to just grit your teeth and go "uh huh." Admittedly there are actually some people out there who really are empathic but to a lesser moderate extent, but they are rare. What's (as mentioned previously) not as rare is the fact that almost every human definitely has a little bit of empathic ability. Therefore, having it at all isn't really that unusual, it's having it interfere significantly with your day-to-day that is.

Not necessarily symptoms of significant empathic ability:

• Caring way too much about people who really don't deserve it - sorry, this is a universal human struggle
• Being "too nice" - this is great, but it's not an indicator for or against psychic empathy
• Boundary issues, being walked all over
• Having a history of abusive relationships, romantic and otherwise - yeah, this is extremely common
• Having a history of getting used, mistreated, manipulated, and generally having your good nature used against you - same deal, it's a human thing

Indicators against having empathic ability:

• Retrogimmick has art that says it all. yep that's why no real empath ever says they are one unless they are also a. mentally ill or b. have known you for longer than like 10 years
• Wanting to believe you are empathic. Wanting to be special. Worse, actually claiming to other people that you are an empath unless you don't really have a choice and your symptoms are severe. That is an extremely strong indicator that you are not one.
• Having all symptoms decrease wtih therapy and mental health help efforts
• Having all symptoms decrease when you implement stronger boundaries
• Generally having good dreams, and only rarely having mediocre ones or nightmares. Want night terrors every night? Disturbing nightmares that leave you with perpetual dark circles under your eyes? Sure, ask if empathy is for you.
• If you have ever cheated on anyone or deliberately betrayed a friend or someone who loved and trusted you. Bonus points for honestly not giving a crap. Bonus bonus points for not even really thinking it through or noticing at the time. Triple bonus points for justifying it by believing that most people are jockeying for the number one spot anyway, you gotta look out for number one, and all's fair in love and war.
• If you have ever littered. Bonus points for littering regularly
• Laughing at someone who is in pain, usually justifying it through exclaiming that you have higher social standing
• Not returning the shopping cart to the corral, cleaning up after yourself, or otherwise obeying common sense rules of social conduct
• Being rude to service personnel, especially janitors and medical personnel who have taken care of you. Also, leaving a mess for them
• Having a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder - yeah, uh, that's the opposite of psychic empathy. You don't have it.
• Even showing signs of being narcissistic or selfish is a pretty good indication you are not empathic at all.

Where being empathic is actually helpful:

• Service professions such as working at a cafe, counseling, being an airline steward or stewardess, and so on
• Healing, especially energy healing work (would not recommend Reiki; it's pretty corrupted by cash, would recommend something else)
• Any or all religious stuff that requires communion with the Divine, and nope, it doesn't matter what religion (I just hope if you do decide to be religious you pick a good one)

Where being empathic is not helpful:

• Pretty much everywhere else.

Empath Wards: try any or all of these. Since most human beings have empathic abilities to some extent, this might help you feel a little better overall. If, however, you notice a significant difference in your quality of life, get serious about finding more empath wards and better ones. Because I haven't found enough myself! 7/9/22 here is a good solution2/2/24 Evidently that didn't work well enough. Yeah, I can't turn this off.

• 1/14/24 By a strange coincidence I realized that Aquarius correspondences are very helpful for all empathic maladies. These include a wide variety of correspondences that lead to other correspondences - the planets Uranus, Mercury, and Saturn, the Elements of Water and Air with a little Fire, the holiday Imbolc with the Deity Brigit, etc. etc. etc. Some ones to get you started include: coffee, eucalyptus, the color electric blue, neon lights, high-tech stuff, futuristic everything, and everything to do with the Sun and the Stars. Of course there still needs to be a lot of experimentation done in person to see if any of this stuff even helps each and every individual with empathic stuff but preliminary experimentation on my part indicates it does, and that's pretty weird. 6/28/24 The Archangel Gabriel is the Angel of Aquarius and also of the Age of Aquarius. For the record, Angels are not restricted to JudeoChristian religion or monotheism. And on that note, I've heard that supposedly you're not supposed to ask any Angels directly for help, but instead to go through a Deity. Consider for a moment the likelihood of any effect on anyone's personality that contact with an Angel would have. Plus the likelihood that Angels, considered extra kind helpful messengers of Deity, would not want to be asked for help. And the likelihood that any compassionate, good Deity would care about being asked first, given that Angels are literally messengers of Deity and if they aren't connected to Deity 24/7, they have no Angelic powers. Finally the very distinct likelihood that people who are either non-religious or have problems with religion would not reach out to Deity at all for help and therefore asking an Angel for help would be the only help from good supernatural sources they'd get. Can you see an Angel denying an Atheist help? Not very rational as a belief, eh? I think it makes the most logical sense to ask Angels for help in any and every way you can, as often as you can, directly to whichever Angels make the most sense to you. If you aren't sure, ask your Guardian Angel for guidance first. Everyone has one.
• 1/11/24 Here's an unusual one that I bet you didn't even know we had in this country. Alliance with everyone else in the country. That's right, patriotism is a ward as long as there are enough people believing in it. We lost that ward when the far right and far left (edit 1/14/24 AND all the complacent, complicit people with the spines of jellyfish that just let it happen, often with bullshit justifications like "peace" and "love," "safety," when confronted with evil, with the real reasons being selfishness, greed, and laziness - the far right and far left killed everything that made this country good with murder, and the lazy fence straddlers killed the good stuff with manslaughter) decided to absolutely go off their collective rocker. In fact, alliance with every good human worldwide is a ward too. It's not easy to get this back, but I know exactly where to start: be a better friend, family member, and ally to the people you know who are decent humans. Keep an open mind, be more tolerant and forgiving of people you already know you can trust, let people in a little more, isolate yourself a little less. And keep it going. Just don't ally with the assholes - let 'em fend for themselves.
• Focus on you and your microcosm. Your own little sphere of influence, your own little world, and you. Try to focus on your own little world to the exclusion of all else. Particularly if you're drowning in other people's garbage. There is a hell of a learning curve to this and it's not easy, but consistent effort applied over a long period of time can make this happen for you, so you shut them out. Try to believe you can do it, and try to believe in yourself, and try to have good self esteem. This is particularly important if you were raised in a place where being "selfless" was considered "good," such as a religious place, a Communist place, or anywhere you were told that to value yourself at all meant you were evil. Or some sort of Midwestern-type place where being nice, considerate, loving, giving, and thinking about the whole world and the whole universe but never ever yourself is "great." That kind of mindset, empathy aside, can actually kill you (and that helps no one, surprise surprise) so surpass it. If you're the kind of person who can't remember the last time you thought about yourself and your own needs at all for more than like five minutes a day, now's the time to start and not stop. Focus on your own little world to the exclusion of all else. Remind yourself. Have someone else remind you if you need reminders.
• For everyone who is not empathic, tell them all: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Yes, we can hear you. We can feel your pain without you also demanding that others feel it even more. Yes, we know you're suffering. You do not have the right to make us suffer right along with you. Keep that shit to yourself. And if you keep spewing it everywhere, you're not going to like the resultant karma. Didn't you know you're crippling us empaths from being able to fucking help you this way? Idiots. Just about as wonderful as the people who punch health care workers in the face. We purify the energy of the Earth and you're clogging our filters. Le fuck you.
• Mabon, 9/22/22 I'd like to also make this clear. Depending on someone's psychic empathic gifts and their strength, you can usually fend off unwanted feelings and energies from people through things like physical, mental, and emotional/spiritual strength. It's all tied together. But the stronger the psychic empathic "gift," the harder it is to fend off unwanted bad vibes. And at some point, forcing someone with gifts like that to feel your feelings along with you or force them to feel a certain way is literally a kind of rape. (It has to be deliberate though) Too much of it makes a person go insane and I personally have been dealing with this kind of thing for more than a year now. Same deal with the other empaths I know and yes I know a few, it's been common to spend like $2000 apiece just to keep the bad vibes out. So all y'all can just fuck right off, thank you.
• Since empathy often comes with other psychic abilities, and since it's hard enough to deal with as it is, start studying mental health, logic, psychology, critical thinking, and science. (probably also sociology) I mean right now. It's crucial to be able to discern the truth and think clearly and logically when you have this kind of stuff going on. Otherwise, like, you can get really confused, really fast, and make dumb decisions.
• If you have someone else around who is also empathic, ask them what they're picking up on so you can discern what's yours and what isn't. Helps. Of course, you might just both be delusional, so be careful and use logic and critical thinking first and foremost. In any given decision you make, choose the logical approach instead of the intuitive or psychic one if you have to choose between the two.
• Do your best to make your decisions logically and with your head, not your heart or your gut. That's completely counterintuitive but it is important to have intuition as just one input and not the end-all-be-all. It is fallible. Logic and science are less fallible. This is especially important when you need to make decisions as to go to war and/or seriously hurt someone else, or not. Do you set up and defend strong boundaries, or not. Do you cause harm in order to mitigate more harm, or not. Empaths get used too much. Keep yourself safe and your boundaries up and defended with weapons that work. Just shields are not enough. Cultivate wisdom and don't let yourself fall prey to the New Age garbage about never ever defending you and yours by causing harm. It's what an empath wants to hear but it causes more harm in the long run. Much, much more. Learn to shut that shit down fast. Cut ties and if necessary burn bridges with everyone who is too much for you to handle. Fight for your rights with intelligence, wisdom, and a very well-informed stance. Whenever you see something that's fucked, slap that shit down or at least call it what it is. Just because you care a whole awful lot does not give you carte blanche to allow yourself to be abused. Believe it or not, that's evil. And shame on anyone who may have ever made you believe that you deserve it.
• If you are female, you might have a seriously horrible time with being empathic during PMS and your period itself. Therefore, increase the amount of this kind of stuff that you do at those times and try to schedule around it so you're not having to do things that require clear thinking during them.
• Whenever possible, try not to feed into the negativity, no matter how justified it seems at the time. The number one thing empaths pick up on is exactly that, because Earth is oversaturated with it. It's bad enough without you adding to it. However: easier said than done.
• Stay distracted with whatever is positive. Believe it or not, goth stuff, the macabre, or anything else campy or gruesome is not necessarily negative. If you feel a sense of wonder, exploration, or even a sense of delving into your own dark side, that's fine. If you prefer to watch some fairy tale stuff or anime or whatever, that helps too. What you are trying for is to block out the vibes of evil and DARK IS NOT BY DEFAULT EVIL. (the converse, "light" is not by default good, is just as true) This could involve you buckling down, getting to work and nose to the grindstone, on whatever work you've got that interests you. It could involve you engaging with a passion or interest of yours full force. It could involve you focusing on whatever you're currently interested in. The key with all this is focus; focus on what makes you happy or interested, and not on the bad vibes from the outside world. Try to fill your schedule with positive distractions so you don't have a spare hour with which to absorb the energetic sewage like a sponge. As for hours of leisure and resting, which you also need, I haven't figured that out yet, as it seems to require more wards than I've figured out how to put up. To the best of my knowledge having some movie or TV show going seems to help during hours like that.
• Wear black. Yes, Standard Pagan Attire (a joking epithet for the usual attire of Pagans, Wiccans, etc.) actually helps you cope with being too sensitive to energy.
• Specifically wear black wristbands, of the polyester gym-wear sweat-blocking type, or the leather or pleather type. Also black baseball cap. Black shoes too; if possible black boots.
• Anklets of blue ribbons and an ocean-blue necklace (satin cord, blue cord, braided embroidery floss, whatever), possibly with a blue glass "eye" or a howlite pendant or whatever else you like, can also help. Many cultures, traditions, and religions have their own amulets for protection, consider experimenting with these. You might even consider getting celtic knot or rune necklaces if those are more your speed. I used to wear a Tyr rune pendant which was my absolute favorite but if you're going to do something like that, know the symbolism first (for runes, you're probably better off using Algiz for protection anyway). Don't decide to wear a pentacle without being Wiccan... that opens up your psychic senses, helps you practice the Craft, and declares to the world that you are Wiccan. For similar reasons, I wouldn't wear a Star of David or Name of Allah necklace; I'm not in those religions.
• Try to be gentle with yourself, compassionate instead of hard on yourself, and to gently nurture your self-respect, self-confidence, self-love, self-esteem. For most empaths these are a challenge, but cultivating these helps not only with empathy but with life overall.
• Avoid social media. Avoid the news. Don't get on these until you have adequate defenses in place for your empathy. If you really need to know what's going on, ask someone you trust, or go on these things once a month max.
• Play your favorite music. Has to be music you sincerely love which speaks to your heart, and not stuff you listen to just to go along with a crowd. Best if not played through headphones but blared on speakers.
• If you've got loved ones, pets, and/or friends who are good company, explain your situation to them and hang out with them as much as you can. Good company is in itself an empath ward
• Crystals-wise, you can carry your favorites or wear 'em as jewelry. It's been my personal experience that this is individual; what works for one person crystal-wise doesn't really work that well for another. Fire agate, howlite, and light blue-dyed howlite have helped with my empathy the most. Others that supposedly help (I haven't managed to try these yet) include jade, moss agate, and blue calcite or sapphire. Some say turquoise but it has the opposite effect on me. Same deal with wearing amethyst, though it works very well for some, and I love having this sit there in common areas to improve the vibes there. Never liked garnets, though these also apparently work well for some. And empaths should never wear malachite.
• For a quick fix, express the oil from a lemon peel, put it behind your ears and on your temples and the back of your head (nape of your neck).
• Chocolate. A nibble of it every few hours, or a sip of a cup of hot chocolate. I have absolutely no idea why this works.
• The scent of coffee is excellent for defusing bad vibes. If you can keep it a-brewing constantly and/or hang out in a coffee shop, great. If you happen to hate coffee, jasmine green tea seems to have a similar effect.
• Other places to hang out include religious houses of worship (any positive ones, you will know which you like best), meditation halls, roadsides, travel hubs, libraries, places of higher learning, wilderness, and motels. Where energy is whipped up into a frenzy or focused on something positive (i.e. genuine positive spirituality, wonder, curiosity, love, peace) it usually doesn't have time to slow down and get all fucked up.
• Try to make your living quarters into some version of any or all of the above. Since I am well, my religion, I like nature-themed everything. You? Will have other interests. Bring what you consider Sacred, Pure and Good into your living quarters somehow.
• If your living quarters and/or self are not physically well organized and clean, it's pretty much guaranteed that the energy isn't going to be as great either. For an empath this is really, really not good. Hygiene is pretty important if you have empathy.
• A clean, well-organized place can have better vibes if you regularly use some kind of high quality air freshener. Vodka with essential oil in it in a spray bottle (don't use this if you have pets), burning herb bundles, incense, scented candles, even perfume made of synthetic ingredients can help.
• If you want to make the space sacred, reading stanzas from a holy text out loud can help, also meditation, prayer, and/or asking out loud for all that is truly Good and Sacred in the Universe and all the good Angels that want to help to help protect, bless, and make the space sacred. Blessings from a trustworthy, good clergyperson can also help.
• Dion Fortune's book Psychic Self-Defense has recipes for making blessed salt and holy water in there. Adapt these directions for whatever religious tradition or belief system you deep down have, or use them with request to "all that is truly Sacred and Good in the Universe" to bless them, and put four containers of blessed salt in the corners of every room of your house. Sprinkle holy water on the whole perimeter, and pour it in an unbroken line around your property. Sprinkle blessed salt in an unbroken line on the inner perimeter of the place, and if possible also the perimeters of all the rooms in your house, including closets and inside cupboards. Don't forget the basement, but I wouldn't do this in an attic or where electrical conduits are, just to be on the safe side.
• Use the same blessing ritual, or have candles blessed by a priest or clergyperson, and burn one near you in a safe place every day until you go to sleep. Never burn candles unsupervised. FYI Continental Candles can be found at most grocery stores and Target, and they are blessed already (looks like the Christian tradition, but they work) and cheap to boot. White candles seem to work best. You can add essential oil to these to improve the effect; lavender, rosemary, and lemon work well. My family uses NOW brand and Aura Cacia brand. Add these oils after the candle's melted a wax pool, but after it's been turned off, so the essential oil doesn't go foomf and char your poor hand to a crisp.
• Rose petals and leaves, dried, also seem to be quite helpful for an empath. Also sachets of lavender. I've added rose leaves to glass-encased candles before and it has helped ward. Lavender sachets, incidentally, make excellent Winter Holiday gifts; this year I bought the lavender off Frontier Herbs' website, bought a bunch of herb sachets in bulk, filled 'em up, et voila. Rosemary also seems to help as a sachet but not as well as these.
• Catholic parents? Ask for holy water as a necklace, and saint medallions and candles of your choice, and use those. Incidentally, if you have religious parents of any tradition and aren't 18 yet, look into your parent's religion, because they all have energetic protections built in. If this is something you are allergic to (which is fine, no spiritual path is one-size-fits-all, but I do sincerely hope they're not shoving their religion down your throat in which case I hope you get the help you need), finding your own path spiritually can also help, but it will take a while and has to be sincere.
• Religious services are protective. It has been my experience that the type of religious service isn't that important; Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Hinduism, it all works. If you attend them weekly they might help, but in areas where people are negative or even evil, it might actually hurt you more than it helps. Consider switching to a less toxic place of worship with better attendees if this is the case. Best yet, just practice your religion at home. Now here's an interesting thought: why would people bother having weekly or biweekly communal religious services anyway? Why not have these at home? Well, consider this. Energy follows intention, especially something people believe in 100%, whether you are a trained Witch or not. And lots of energy built up in a place is more effective than just yours. So if a bunch of people get together for the sake of supporting one another, for spiritual cleansing and connecting with the Divine, and for the highest, best, most positive purposes, that's what you'll get. But if they get together for the sake of getting power OVER someone else, for defending against some sort of thing they deem a threat whether it actually is or not, and otherwise being all kinds of negative and toxic, that's what you'll get. Also, whatever religion you are a part of willingly will connect to you energetically, for better or worse. (Did I just say that every religion has formed its own coven of sorts? Yes. Yes, I did.) Therefore, if you are empathic, you might want to find a group of people to get together with biweekly or weekly in order to practice some sort of spirituality or religion. But they have to be good people, it has to be for a positive purpose, and it has to be for a positive religion, so none of that edgelord shit, okay? I've seen people thumb their noses at the rule of 3/karma, but it's real, and it's terrifying to see the Consequences Of Your Own Actions^TM. Which applies to everyone of every religion.
• An attempt to grow your belief in whatever your spirituality or religion is until it is perfect is very helpful. Ideally, if you can make your belief in what you deep down know is truly Sacred and Good grow to become perfect faith, then empathy will be far less of a big deal because of your communion and connection to the Divine. This is not easy. Oddly enough it might also require real-life therapy to help you cope, and this can partially come from clergy people in your religion or spirituality if it has those. Other sources to ask for help include the Divine, your Guardian Angel, and "all the good Angels who want to help me with this." Straight up just ask out loud. Caveat: it has to be real, not performative, and you have to know deep down that it is your personal, spiritual truth. Blind belief isn't really all that genuine.
• Supposedly, your vibe will attract more of the same, and being positive will improve your overall happiness, luck, and life. In all honesty while being empathic trying to cultivate a positive optimistic vibe is like trying to light a match in a violent thunderstorm. But sometimes you manage, and it's like you're keeping a torch burning. Keep trying, and maybe you and me will find a way to keep it going. It does seem to help to remind yourself that "like attracts like" when you're being overwhelmed, and then you force yourself to say nice things, do nice things, or even just give one thumbs up after a heroic effort to manage that. It ain't a quick fix. It's trench warfare. With consistent effort despite the two steps back one step forward thing, you just might win this. Of course, be careful not to throw pearls before swine or they'll just trash your efforts and then try to play you for the sucker.
• Lights? On. TVs and electronics? On. Counterintuitive if you're trying to help the environment, but important.
• In your home, install real curtains. Heavy ones.
• Gardening is an excellent hobby for an empath to have. Get better at this year after year, cultivate stuff indoors and/or outdoors, and not only do you have beautiful plants, they also help ward and keep the place better energy-wise. Right in line with this, herbal crafts and hobbies such as aromatherapy, decorative herb stuff, natural perfumery, cooking with herbs, potpourri, soapmaking, candlemaking and so on help ward, because pretty much all herbal stuff wards you from bad vibes and increases positive vibes to some extent. If you don't know where to start with all this, try lavender and rose crafts first.
• 1/31/23 Here's something you wouldn't think would help but does. Crochet. Doing crochet helps keep out other people's bullshit somehow; functions as an empath ward. I imagine knitting, weaving, and other fiber arts requiring lots of focus could also help. Spread the word to all the empaths you know...
• 7/15/24 I did an interesting calculation today. Since getting mind flayed and empathically slammed is actually a form of rape, rape of the mind, and ruins lives, I calculated the exact lowball minimum amount of cash that each person doing this owes me, one empath. You could argue ignorance, but I'm not sure how far that goes ethically speaking. Anyway here's how it goes. Prostitution is about $75 per hour, absolute minimum. We're not going to get into what I could get from a rape lawsuit, which is substantially more. Multiply that times 24 hours per day, times 365 days per year, times 5 years, which is actually what I've been through at this point (minimum; I was born with this but it only got really bad during the past five years). That's for one person spewing as much negativity as they humanly can into the ethers all the time for the past five years and willing someone, anyone (oh look, guess it's me) to feel it along with them. That's $3,285,000. Now multiply that by one million people, which again, is a lowball estimate. Given a human life is about 100 years, and people can earn about on average 5 million dollars during it, which is an estimate of how much one person can earn in a lifetime working for most of it, 5 percent of 5 million dollars is $250,000, so add that to the total, because I haven't been able to work due to empathy-fueled disease for the past 5 years. Using that calculation, I am owed $3,285,000,250,000 total. As a lowball estimate. If a human being earns 5 million dollars per lifetime, it would take each one of those people 66 years to pay me back. That's not including the other empaths they have violated; you'd need to tally up that number and add that to the calculations too. Again, these are extremely low estimates. Do you get the picture?

Foods that seem to help if regularly eaten

• Chocolate. Lots, and lots, and lots of chocolate.
• Apples
• Organic dairy, especially ice cream
• Potatoes
• Spicy food, of the chile type, not the black pepper type. Hot sauce is helpful, Thai-style chile is helpful, hot curries; helpful
• Oatmeal and baked goods containing oats
• Organic corn products, such as cornflakes and microwave popcorn
• Almonds (avoid if you have ever had kidney stones)
• Sweets (nope, not healthy! but seems to help?)
• Sea salt (nope, not healthy in the amounts I seem to eat it in! but seems to help?)
• More vegan and vegetarian foods, less meat

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Macrev