A lot of people around the country are developing PTSD for the first time. Speaking as someone who's had it for a very long time, I can tell you this much: if you fight it tooth and nail, it starts to loosen its grip. There are ups and downs each day but after a few months you look back and realize that there was improvement. This continues until you realize you're starting to win. Only bothering to blather about myself here in order to tell you that it's possible.
Better books for PTSD than the usual con artists' bullshit - I chose these because there is a common misconception in the public eye and even the eyes of therapists that those with PTSD will benefit from having their voice stifled. They'll benefit from being told what to do, from having a therapist have lots of control over them at their most vulnerable, from being ordered around. I say that doesn't seem to be true. I think it is important to give people with PTSD their voice and their personal sovereignty back. You have this? Maybe do whatever sounds good from this list. If you don't want to then you do you, man.
I use the latter three books as reading every day and journal from at least one in a manner that helps me think straight. That 'stack' is therapy.
12/15/23 Websites for PTSD
Books for fibromyalgia and myofascial pain syndrome, also chronic pain in general
Potentially helpful books
For active duty troops and veterans: check out the charities at the bottom of this page and also see:
For healthcare heroes:
For rehab:
I have assembled a list of some things that work for me, my family, and my friends and maybe, just maybe, they'll help you. As I find more I will add more. These things are also suitable for your "average" traumas, which upon closer inspection aren't "average" at all. What I know for certain is that PTSD makes you pretend that all kinds of stuff is the enemy - in my case, video games, in another person's case, fireworks, etc. - but that ain't it, PTSD is the enemy. Knowing it's there is half the battle.
A quick note on self-diagnosis of PTSD: please don't. Definitely get checked out by a therapist if you suspect it instead. I have had it up to HERE with idiots who claim they're "triggered" because someone won't give them exactly what they want or spoil them rotten. What does being triggered look like for real? It's ugly. It's embarrassing. It's really dramatic, and uh, you can't control yourself at all or recognize who you are and what you're doing. You are just going on autopilot and a lot of the time you don't even remember the incident afterwards. Plus your quality of life is in the toilet and you could very easily ruin everything while you're on the rampage. If that's not enough there's also the constant nightmares, flashbacks, paranoia, depression, etc. So people LARPing as those with PTSD need to shut the fuck up so those of us who actually have it can get taken seriously, please and thank you.
Firstly, unload on someone you can trust with your life over a period of years, maybe even decades. If you have a person like that in your life. You have to tell them the worst parts of what's going on in your mind. When more of it comes up, unload it on them. Do the same for them if they have any trauma in their past and you can help each other. PTSD has a way of mixing truth with illusion and it is necessary to have someone help you through the worst of it. Discuss your triggers with that person and try to come up with a strategy for combating your panic state. This will have two parts: 1. making you aware that you are triggered when you are having that reaction, possibly through intervention on their part or by intervention on yours, and 2. learning to "ride it out" when you reach that point of being aware that you are triggered. Make a "triggered toolkit" list of things to do when you are, so that you can fight it instead of succumb. Some of the things I do include drink coffee, watch TV, read magazines, and snuggle my cat. A list of other coping skills that might help is at the bottom of this page.
Tell your friends and family what you're dealing with before they find out the hard way.
Something I've noticed: You should know that a lot of times people with PTSD will latch on to something addictive in an effort to keep themselves from being constantly triggered. Which is an unpleasant state. This is something that usually persists until the person starts actively fighting the PTSD and trying to get rid of the maladaptive coping skill aka the addiction. This is not an easy process. It may take a while. In particular, it often persists until the PTSD itself becomes less severe, so treating the PTSD may also reduce an addiction's hold over time as a nice side effect.
To reduce anxiety and panic attacks, I personally use three different kinds of tea: a green and black teabag chilling in one cup of hot tea (ha), a 4-herb blend of fresh lemon balm, lemongrass, a leaf or two of rosemary, and spearmint in one cup of hot water, and a mixture of Bigelow's Perfect Peach and plain chamomile tea in one cup which is really helpful for insomnia. Try these, see how they work. CBD oil is also helpful if you take it twice a day with something fatty, like a burrito or whatever. Apex brand and Charlotte's Web brand are good. Antidepressants are also helpful but are best given to you by a helpful friend or family member when you need to take each dose per day, because you could wind up lowering them or raising them out of nowhere thanks to well, mental issues. You should know there are a couple substances available over the counter for depression: St. John's Wort, rhodiola capsules, and Zembrin (sceletium tortuosum). Each works differently in different people, and you should thoroughly research whichever one you decide to take, if you do, especially their interactions with prescription medication. Other substances are listed here. In herbal literature, fresh lemon balm and lemon verbena are listed as 'relaxing' or useful for anxiety, so those are also potentially helpful. Do not take lemon balm if you are hypothyroid.
If you're in a situation that keeps retraumatizing you do your absolute best to get out of there or at least reduce how much it harms you to stay. Don't be macho and try to tough it out, or somehow think that you "deserve to be there" or that it's somehow right for you to be there. It's not right, it's not good, and it's not ethical. Get out and/or fix it as soon as you can. Do not deny yourself what you need, no matter how "right" it seems. It's not! At the very least, know in your mind that what is going on is not right, especially if you're being gaslit. Try to not add to the gaslighting by gaslighting yourself. No, you're not crazy, and yes, you are capable of understanding what's going on. What is gaslighting? Well, if you won't be triggered by a haggard looking actor acting after supposing torture and interrogation, it's this. There Are Four Lights!. The haggard looking character, Picard, had been tortured by the guard who demanded that he say there were five lights, and insisted that there were five, but indeed, there were only four. Source: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Chain of Command Part II
The above paragraph is why 'exposure therapy' where you're forced to experience something akin to what happened to you (like Quack Kills, god bless Psychostick), or talk therapy where you word vomit all the bad stuff that happened to you can actually make things worse for you. If you keep reliving it, and if it's forced on you before you're ready, you'll just feel shittier. That is actually exactly what happened to me in therapy. At some point, you'll be ready to add things back into your life that scared you before, but don't push yourself. You have time. It's not a bad thing to stay in your comfort zone, the trick is to gradually enlarge the comfort zone. It will help to eventually expose yourself to small amounts of what you fear, but only in a safe environment and hopefully with some serious moral support.
Fixing the original situation in order to show you that you can regain control over it is helpful indeed. In particular if a grave injustice has been done to you, then getting justice on the perpetrator is an incredible tool for healing. Not only that, but it often prevents the formation of more victims, always a plus. Of course, you can only do this in a way that is logical, strategic, and morally and ethically correct - in a way where you are truly in control of yourself - or you could just make it worse. Sometimes you can go back to the original situation and force it to go in a way that isn't absolute bullshit; make it change for the better. Rewrite the narrative. Sometimes you can't, but you can still prevent other situations like it from happening, which is also therapeutic. The point is to convince your freaked-out brain that you still have control; that you can still influence things; that you are not helpless or hopeless but still at least a little bit strong. This is a repetitive process that requires some adjustment of what you do each day and week but it helps.
20 to 30 minutes of daily meditation to good music is helpful; try to do it every day. I actually like listening to Missy Elliott when I do but go for your favorites.
One thing my husband said to me when I was spiraling and said "I feel spiritually dead," was "You're not. You're just spiritually tired, and you always come back from it. Always." And he was right. You rest up and then you recover. It might take a while but you do.
A lot of the time someone that feels macho, or has some sense of personal pride, will absolutely feel like garbage because they can't "pull themselves together." Remember that no one on this planet is invincible, perfect, or always a winner; we're humans, not gods. Failing to be perfect is not failing as a person. It's failing to be a robot.
Lots of people with PTSD are really tough people with a desire to give back to society and big dreams for themselves and/or the world. But looking back on it, I saw tons of people with really obvious symptoms of PTSD that abused the shit out of the people under their charge or out of their coworkers or families because they were in a stressful job. I don't even know if they knew what they were doing, or if they were actually in control of their shitty actions. Don't continue the dumb cycle and please for goodness sake get your brain right before you even consider working a stressful job! At least give yourself a few years of something that's not an emotional minefield for you before you consider jumping in, okay?
Gratitude journaling daily does seem to help. However, in the beginning for someone who's been traumatized it's nearly impossible and you have to start with ONE thing you're grateful for, no more. Even that's impossible for a lot of people, in which case it's important to write down not what you're grateful for or even what you like, but what you wish you could have. Know that what you wish you could have does exist, even if only in your mind; understand that what you wish for is a direct link to what you like. Then go from there. Daily, write down what you wish you could have. After you figure out your wishes and get to know those better, start thinking about and journaling what you like and appreciate daily. Only then start journaling what you're grateful for. When you know you're actually grateful for it instead of some 'forced gratitude' tripe.
At dawn and dusk, or morning and evening if your schedule is tight, it is soothing to do something spiritual, religious, or relaxing. If you're not religious, you could light a candle and make a cup of hot herbal tea, contemplate your plans for the day or just zone out and stare into the tea (esp if you add milk; it swirls), think about the generosity of the land that gives you water and herbs and the work that got the tea to you, then after a few minutes snuff out the candle with a teaspoon. If you are, you could incorporate prayer or some kind of religious devotions.
Daily, spending at least 15 minutes outside in a safe place can really help.
If you like video games, consider spending an hour or a few daily while playing your favorite or favorites. This could potentially help a lot.
Try to do something creative. It seems to help you feel better, possibly because creative pursuits use different parts of the brain that normally get a workout from the daily grind. It also helps because you learn from experience that thoughts are not things, and that you can think about stuff, fantasize, and create original stuff like artwork or music without anything bad happening. This, over time, will hopefully grow your comfort zone so you can do a wider variety of things without freaking out.
Gardening can help a great deal if you have an actual garden. Unfortunately, gardening in pots is really difficult and actually stressful, so I wouldn't recommend it for PTSD. But if you do find a place, try making a three-year plan for what you want the garden to look like and then get out there and work whenever you like. Seeing the power you have to influence a green and growing place and make it look like paradise helps.
Many veterans seem to love chillin in nature, camping, and doing wilderness type stuff. So do I. Give it a go if you are interested. I suggest The Campout Cookbook by Marnie Hanel and Jen Stevenson to make it more than a little extra but totally awesome. Here's how it helps: while you're trying to survive out there, your brains little dance of 'ohshitohshitohshit' calms the fuck down because you have to focus on the tasks at hand. I recommend Great Sand Dunes National Park in particular if you can make it out there but everyone has their favorites, and there are usually local spots that are totally underrated.
On that note astronomy is an excellent hobby for people who have this. It puts life into better perspective to remember how seriously huge the universe actually is.
Draw up a bunch of schedules for yourself. A daily routine, a weekly routine with tasks for each day, a monthly routine, seasonal routines, and stuff you do only once a year. The daily one should have tasks listed for morning and evening hygiene and grooming, meals, and whatever you need to do to keep your mind right, especially things you actually like doing. The weekly one can be a housekeeping one with one day laundry day, one day for major cleaning, one for planning and budgeting, one for shopping and errands, one for minor cleaning or household tasks, and a couple days for rest. The monthly one can include when you pay your bills and draw up a major budget, plus mini vacations and pleasurable events you're looking forward to (important!). The seasonal ones are for all the seasonal tasks like cleaning out gutters and shoveling snow. And the yearly one is for stuff like doctor and dentist checkups, seeing a vet, major vacation/s (important!), and paying taxes. Once you have all that written down and planned out, if you actually follow these schedules, things won't seem like they're crumbling around you as much. The more of them you'll manage to do, the less you'll freak out. In theory. You won't need to rely on these schedules to keep your brain from 'doing the thing' forever but it sure helps during recovery.
If you have any memory issues at all, buy and use a planner. It saves a lot of frustration and reduces paranoia.
Music is reprogramming for the brain, so find your favorites, and listen to it almost all the time. I highly recommend getting a portable mp3 player. Just don't play your music in dangerous spots, such as walking alone at night. Make many playlists for all of the moods you could get into and use them whenever you can for said moods. While you're at it, consider making others for specific occasions, seasons, holidays, and so on. The more the better.
There is much to be said for a book hoard, or a magazine, comic books, or manga hoard. Sometimes you just need to hole up and read. Libraries can and will help you out here.
Get a pet. If you already have one, consider getting another. When your world is crumbling around you it's helpful to see a furry creature that loves you no matter what.
Use these three resources: Un#*%& Your Brain by Faith G. Harper, Clan of the Goddess by C.C. Brondwin which actually contains helpful visualizations and exercises for mental health and doesn't have to involve magic at all, and this particular manga called Rurouni Kenshin Link out. I'm dead serious, the manga will take you through all kinds of therapy, and all while entertaining you. That said, manga #163 and onward will mess you up even if you don't have PTSD, so be sure you have family and a support system right next to you if you do decide to read it. It is worth it, but you'll need someone to help you through it.
See a pain specialist doctor about controlling any chronic or acute pain you might be having. If you are scared of getting hooked on opiates or similar things, but have excruciating pain, you should take the damn opiates, just in moderation and with breaks or a rotation (swap it with various NSAIDs or something for a week or so; talk to said pain specialist) to avoid building a tolerance. Or alternatively take marijuana pills since they're opiates lite. Don't discount topical treatments; they can really help. These include Biofreeze, THC+CBD lotion, lotion dosed with CBD at a ratio of 1/2 tsp CBD per cup of lotion, and Mountain Magic. There is a book called The FibroManual by Ginevra Leptan, which contains pain control methods that aren't even in Harrison's Guide to Internal Medicine; speak to your doctor about those options. While you're at it, ask them to check for fibromyalgia because there is a link between PTSD and fibromyalgia. I wish I was kidding. I recently discovered Mucinex helps a great deal with fibromyalgia (which I recently found out I have, woo hoo); it is over the counter so hey.
It is important to understand that sometimes you can get lost in your thoughts and not know the way out. The trick to riding it out is to understand that you are not mentally well and that your brain is "doing the thing" again. It is too easy to think that you are always in control - the key to understanding mental illness is that people who are completely irrational never feel like what they're thinking or doing is irrational. Once you understand that maybe you're not thinking straight, you can absolve yourself of the guilt of "not pulling yourself back together" because believe it or not, you probably can't. Brains are physical organs and no matter how much we may think we are in control of them or think that they are "our souls," they're just parts of us like hearts and lungs. Sometimes they need extra TLC to start working right again.
The "hurr durr just get therapy" bull is one of the worst things about having any mental illness, not just PTSD. Lest we forget, therapy is extremely expensive, time consuming, and rarely if ever helpful. I have never met anyone who was truly helped by it, because unfortunately although most people in this country know that most healthcare here is a for-profit scam, they're not aware that psychotherapy is far worse. Shrinks are greedy as fuck. I mean, it's a cushy gig, you get to sit there and listen to someone bitch for an hour, pretend to be sympathetic, send them home, and collect $250. I actually have PTSD from my therapy now on top of what I already got, so unless you've been referred to a really good shrink by a veteran you trust, it's probably not worth it. You know what does help? Talking with someone who actually cares about you instead of someone who pretends to care about you in order to take your money.
I have seen veterans smoke weed to cope with their PTSD, and I don't know if it works because it's illegal in my state. If you can get some, give it a try. I have also seen someone claim that riding a motorcycle every day was the only thing that helped them with their traumas. I have to agree with the latter statement. It really does help.
Avoidance of triggers is crucial to your sanity in the first few months to years of fighting PTSD, but it's majorly inconvenient and makes you lose out on a lot of fun. It is important to do this, though, so until your mind settles down, it's best to put yourself in a situation where you are, realistically speaking, as safe and secure as possible. Ask your friends and family for assistance here. While you are in this comfort zone, it is a good idea to add things to that "triggered toolkit." Actually write it down in a list and stick it on a wall where you can see it daily. This way, when something inevitably makes you freak out, you'll learn what works and what doesn't in a safe environment. One thing to watch out for, however: it's easy to forget that you're dealing with PTSD when you're triggered. In fact it's easy to forget you have any mental problem whatsoever and hard to remember to drag out said toolkit. Practice, practice, practice.
Once you're halfway decent at managing to control yourself when you're triggered, then it is a decent idea to try to expose yourself to small amounts of what freaks you out in a safe environment. For instance, I freak out when I play video games despite how much I enjoy them (don't ask, long story). Therefore these days I play solitaire and Windows Pinball. It's been a couple of years since I started doing this. At first I panicked and freaked out all night after I played. I only freak out rarely when I play these things now. I guess you could call this a kind of therapy. But don't forget that it takes a long, long time.
If you are on social media, which is important in a pandemic because socializing is important for mental health, then be ruthless in getting rid of the part of the social media feeds that are toxic, and that includes people. People with PTSD need a supportive environment. Don't screw that up by letting trolls and madmen shit up your feed.
Try your best to force yourself to gradually add in things you actually like to do, and things you enjoy, to your daily schedule. For instance, do you like chocolate? Perfect, every day is chocolate time. Do you like to work out? Ditto. If you can also find things that help you cope with what you deal with then do those too. Non-threatening hobbies and pastimes are underrated here. Try new ones. Often you can find really good ones in the gender paradigm you didn't grow up with. For instance, those born as physical women can try handyman and carpentry work, blacksmithing, welding, and landscaping. Those born as physical men can try sewing, knitting, baking, and various arts and crafts. Actually, arts and crafts that are easy to do can all help, potentially.
Specific kinds of art therapy: creative collaging - this can be focusing on a specific positive ideal like "peace," or a goal you have for your life, or the essence of some other positive thing, or trying to sort through your emotions. Painting, drawing, coloring in what you've drawn, playing music, making sculpture, finding a new art or craft on Instructables - these can help. This - art therapy in general - doesn't have to be positive; stewing in your negative emotions in a work of art can potentially be liberating but the trick is you have to enjoy making this art for you as an artist. The trick is to do this kind of thing for you and not for a therapist, not for a friend or a social expectation. And if it's not helping you don't do it.
Other things to help: Mantra of Avalokiteshvara, watching Godzilla movies, reading shoujo manga, reading romance novels, playing video games (oddly enough Dark Souls seems to help but your mileage may vary), the other mental health stuff listed on this site
Once you've done a lot of the stuff on this page, I suggest gradually exposing yourself to more of what scared you in a safe and controlled manner. Gradually! Go very slowly, but be as consistent as you can.
A list of potentially helpful coping skills, summarized from this page, the Mental Health page, and from other sources - whenever something reminds you of the trauma or you're having a mood swing or you feel like crap in some other way, reach for one of these. Get in the habit of doing so and eventually you'll be able to ride it out instead of being controlled by it. Coping skills are highly individual, however, so whatever ones you come up with for yourself will probably be better than the cookie-cutter approach.
Tips for people caring for those with PTSD