Health, Exercise, Etc.

Some would argue that this entire page is 18+ because it has sex ed in it. If you're a parent reading it, you make the call. Let's hope our sex ed curriculum doesn't result in more people talking like this.

Disclaimer: This is NOT a substitute for a doctor's care and should be used under medical supervision. Do not use anything from this page as a substitute for vaccinations, antibiotics or other conventional treatments. Discuss potential treatments from this page with an M.D. before you try anything. I am not a doctor, just studying to become one. Nothing on this page should be taken as medical advice. Research everything yourself & ask your doctor in addition to what you read here and make your own decisions after that.

Planned Parenthood appears to have some pretty good resources for learning the "real deal" about sex and all related topics. Which I suggest you look at in order to avoid a depressing trip to Planned Parenthood for an abortion, which like, no one wants, seriously. I have to point out I think they made a mistake in their "relationship" article, though: asking your parents or the adults around you if you are really in love is not a good way to determine if you are or not, as love is not well understood by anybody and every love story is individual and different; besides it is more important to ensure that the relationship is a healthy and nontoxic supportive one. Also: if you need to get tested for STDs, which is a must for everyone who is sexually active, they usually have options that are low-cost and free of judgment.

Buzzfeed's Sex Ed articles are superior to all of the sex ed I learned in high school and college combined.

SheBop is the only place online that sells affordable condoms, which is nice when you live in a repressive place like Texas where they don't really give you access to these even if you can buy them because they don't sell them in the in-town stores... at all

• Why bother learning about health? Well, there's something really cool about knowing that a lot of other people discovered "We have these strange round objects that you can swallow, and miraculously if people do that they don't die," among many other things that reduce or get rid of pain and suffering, and we just keep getting better at it. Years ago people used whatever crazy idea they had at the time to try to cure things and it usually didn't work. Now, we have all these crazy ideas, tools, techniques, and medicines that from the standpoint of our history of failures really shouldn't work at all, but they do, and it's miraculous. Why? We added science and scientific rigor.
• HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING: Beginner's Guide to Pilates by Sian williams & Dominique Jansen, added to list 11/22/23. I'd say if you have some sort of physical limitation going on the best bet is to take a class in person or via Zoom on Pilates so a qualified teacher can help you figure out what exercises work best for you in your situation. If you are relatively mobile, however, and have a doctor's go-ahead, this book is the real deal and it can help you figure out how to do Pilates without gimmicks or wasted time or effort. With regards to Pilates in general, this is a good introductory book, and Pilates is a kind of exercise you can do at any age to help with mobility, health, and overall quality of life. Rumor has it that Madonna likes it and look at her, she's ripped.
• HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING: 8/17/24 Aqua Fitness by Mimi Rodriguez Adami, added due to accessibility for most ages and levels of athleticism. You have to know how to swim, though, no matter how shallow the water is. Learn that first. Also: the Watsu massage explained in pictures has potential negative health consequences if you don't get trained properly to do that and get a degree teaching you about physical therapy first, because it could manipulate a weakened spine in potentially dangerous ways if you don't.
• 11/26/23 Once you get the basics of Pilates down, check out Blogilates with Cassey Ho. If you're just curious about it use an image search to see the infographics she's made. They're great. She also has a Youtube channel
• 11/23/23 Want to detox your system? Here's one tried and true way. Get a pedometer. Rack up those steps.
• The Mighty 6/21/23 Suggested for the articles on the front page; it's under the subheading "the power of the patient voice." It encourages you to join their community, but in my personal experience with various internet communities intended to support those with chronic illness, I quickly learned it was more "appropriate" to bitch and moan in misery together than to actually find solutions for problems so like, never again. And you do not need to join up to read the articles. If you want to give joining up a try regardless, go for it.
• Spoonie Life Hacks 6/21/23 Yes, it is on Tumblr, but it's actually good.
• Special Olympics Fitness Programs 6/21/23 HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING These are surprisingly helpful for just about anyone. Highly recommended. Presented with easy-to-follow videos and everything.
• Special Olympics Athlete Educational Resources 6/21/23 HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING, this has stuff in it that's not well known but everyone should know it. Things like proper foot care, proper dental hygiene, and more.
• Inclusive Health Care 6/21/23 Explained at the Special Olympics's website. Important to read.
• Life Should Cost Less Fitness Guide 4/28/23 TRIGGER WARNING, but a very excellent guide for getting to and maintaining a healthy weight based on sound practice that makes sense. It's evident the author learned all this the hard way and isn't just spouting off standard advice. 5/13/23 Here's an idea for something you can add to it if you so choose. After calculating your current food budget based on current caloric expenditure, and reducing calories accordingly, regularly donate the excess funds or still-packaged foods to a food bank! This can also be done with the funds you'd otherwise use for a drug habit or an alcohol or cigarettes or vapes habit; anything unhealthy you'd spend cash on. Every time you feel tempted to splurge, donate instead to the charity of your choice (here is a list) and see how much it piles up to help the community. You'd be stunned.
• 6/17/23 Here is Nerd Fitness They have handy workouts in looping gif form.
• Bathroom Access Act comment on Reddit from u/ANJohnson83 If you have a qualifying medical condition in many states, you must legally be allowed to use the bathroom in a commercial building, even if it is not normally for public use
• The camping trip thread
• HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING: Ballerina Body by Misty Copeland, with the caveat that if a kid uses this they or their parents should consult their pediatrician with specific questions about diet and exercise
• HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING: Superman's Not Coming by Erin Brockovich - explanation of what went wrong with our water supply and actionable steps to take to make it no longer suck
• HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING: Mental Health MacRev Mental Health Section
• HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING: Basic Preventative Health Habits NHS Live Well
• HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING: Drugs.com Drugs.com
• Note: it is very helpful for doctors and you if you summarize your total health record on three pieces of paper, stapled together and brought to every appointment. This should include but not be limited to former and current diagnosed conditions, immunization record with dates and locations, known allergies and symptoms of their reactions, hospitalizations/surgeries/invasive procedures and reasons why plus their dates, family medical history, all prescribed medications taken past and present, and the contact info of previous and current medical health professionals. On a fourth, separate piece of paper you can bring the questions you want to ask at the appointment, the reasons why you are there and all symptoms.
• If you can afford it, I recommend taking a First Aid and CPR course at the local Red Cross. They are currently doing these certification courses online via video. Last time I checked they were $70.
• How to use an Epi-Pen When I got my CPR training they did not teach how to use one of these, so it’s worth it to watch the 4:24 minute video. Blue to the sky, orange to the thigh.
• Basic herbal medicine NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR REGULAR MEDICINE
• Things doctors say they wish their patients knew Buzzfeed
• 4/6/23 You know that bone broth trend? Guess what pho is? It is bone broth. But cooked expertly, and usually a decent price, with extra flavorings and an entire cuisine built around it. If you need bone broth in your life (hello, Lyme disease, hello, iron-deficiency and/or pernicious anemia, but fyi bone broth ain't a cure-all), get some pho.
• 9/11/24 This is just personal experience talking, but here's something I've noticed. If you're taking any painkiller and the directions on the bottle, from the pharmacy, or from the doctor don't say "take this on an empty stomach," I've found all the painkillers I've ever tried work a whole lot better when you take them with food, ideally right after you've eaten if you want it to last a while, or with food if you want it to act fast but stick around. Talk to your doctor about it.

More advanced topics in medicine

• Out of all the topics a human can learn, medicine is one of the few that is guaranteed to be useful. If you've ever sat there and wondered "why doesn't this thing (my body) have a user's manual!?!!" well, it does, it just takes a while to learn. It is generally a good idea to be your own medical advocate and your own family's medical advocate. In years past this was accomplished by families reading simplified, ineffective medical guidance from things like the Merck Manual of Medical Information: Home Edition. Nowadays it's Doctor Google, WebMD, snake oil salesmen, or (yikes) Youtube or Facebook. Thank heavens that does not have to be the case. Read these resources, educate yourself about you and your family's conditions. Become empowered and take charge of your family's health. 1/23/23 Upon further consideration I would like to recommend that literally everybody put themselves through as much medical training as possible. Med school too. Shrink training too. It should be part of public education or at least taught online to everyone. I say this out of observation of the medical system in this country, which despite the money and greed issues of a for-profit medical system (and they are extreme) is possibly one of the best systems in the world. Too many people do not understand how medicine works. And a lot of them clog up the ER with non-emergency issues or accidentally cause serious issues that wind up with hospitalizations or chronic health conditions that could have easily been avoided... thusly clog up the health care system. Nothing on Earth (that I know of) is as subject to Murphy's Law as the human body and mind. It therefore makes sense to teach every human how to reduce Murphy's Law rearing its ugly head in day-to-day life so medical professionals can focus on quandaries that are so hard to treat they're nearly impossible, such as curing cancer, birth control treatments with less severe side effects for all genders, or non-addicting treatments of chronic pain.
• NHS information archives
• 1/5/22 A new website Patients Like Me and a new app Longhaul Tracker both for assisting with basically any condition you have that is chronic, not acute
• NHS Prescription and OTC Drugs Archives
• Drugs.com Prescription and OTC Drugs Info and Reviews
• Explanation of lab tests in the UK
• Explanations of what medicines are safe in pregnancy and not, from a UK perspective
• Pubmed Central
• Bioxriv
• Gray's Basic Anatomy by Drake, Vogl, and Mitchell
• Anatomy by Frank Netter (you can never study anatomy too much)
• Harrison’s Guide to Internal Medicine
• The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy, physician edition
• Mosby’s Medical Dictionary
• Healing through Trigger Point Therapy by Devin Starlanyl and John Sharkey - because learning this method of massage might reduce chronic pain of various sorts and over-reliance on NSAIDs can wreck your body. Use caution and if in doubt ask your doctor. Unless you are a doctor.

Sex, Drugs, and Rock'n'Roll: ENTIRE SECTION HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING, GOOD LUCK, PARENTS

• Some religious nuts want to get rid of sex ed, even in college. Then they wonder why the abortion rate, marital dissatisfaction rate, and divorce rate is so high. Gosh, I wonder. Anyway, considering that pregnancy and/or labor can be considered torture under the guidelines of the Geneva Convention source, and source - pages 169-170, and that STDs can ruin lives, it's pretty important to learn about sex.
• Know that much of what happens in sex, pregnancy, and childbirth is pretty much death metal. People who promote requiring ID in order to buy condoms, not educating teenagers about sex ed, and similar barbarities are the worst kind of humans and strictly speaking support legalized torture. People who make "abstinence only" education like that described here link out are just... well, not good people.
• 7/22/24 This is new. There's a no-prescription-necessary birth control pill on the market, and if there's one, there may soon be others; please shop around at these stores to see what you find, and if you can at all do this, PLEASE talk to a good trustworthy doctor first before getting on anything. Opill at CVS Opill at Walgreens Opill at Costco. Do not take this if you're under 18. This is a huge deal because normally to get on birth control pills, unless you are already seeing a good doctor and therefore well off, it can cost hundreds of dollars to get on birth control pills. This is about $20 per month. And you don't have to deal with doctors in anti-birth-control states telling you that you can't have birth control pills because the doctors are ethically against it!
• 10/22/22 Here's a piece of info you probably never heard. You know how condoms have like a 98% chance of working if used correctly? That's well and good until you realize that statistically speaking, you'll probably wind up having a kid anyway. Here's how that works. Let's say you have sex with someone 100 times, and 2 times the condom breaks. Voila, pretty high chance of unexpected pregnancy. Let's say you're in a loving relationship and have sex with someone countless times over the course of many years, using condoms and the rhythm method (natural family planning aka having sex only in the 3-5 days before the first day of the woman's period). You are pretty much guaranteed to have a kid in that situation, whether you want one or not. UNLESS you can get access to a morning-after pill fast enough, and even are aware that the condom broke or that sperm got in vagina, and honestly, I think these should be provided with condoms in the package in case of condom failure, but they aren't for some dumb reason (a very good reason to buy one of these and keep said pill at home in case you ever need one, if you're sexually active - and in most cases it does not actually kill anything, just brings on a period early). BTW the morning-after pill is kind of expensive; was $50 last time I checked. Over time, the risk adds up, until you're the freaked out parent of a kid you never expected to have. I think that's why abortion is such a hot button issue: our society is terrible at preventing the necessity of such a thing in the first place. That's why birth control pills are so important. Depending on your lifestyle choices, that's also why cervical caps, lube, spermicidal jelly, and/or vasectomies, IUDs, getting tubes tied, and hysterectomies are so important; Planned Parenthood has a lot of these options as do gynecologists, I'd say shop around for someone to help you with your reproductive choices that you can trust. Just condoms and the rhythm method (aka natural family planning) are pretty much guaranteed to not work, if you use only those all the time. That's how the statistics work out. Sure, you roll the dice every time you have sex, but considering the extreme consequences of an unexpected pregnancy, it's crucial that you think through if you are even ready for a kid. All the talk about abortion this and that and the other? Can be argued about all day, but first things first, I think it's important to ensure that the only children people have are the children people want to have in the first place, in my opinion. Birth control pills (or other reproductive options such as IUDs) sometimes suck in terms of their side effects, but the ethical concerns about potentially neglecting a child or destroying quality of life for both of you if you were to have one might just overrule that.
• 10/22/22 Another piece of info you probably never heard: psychologically, "sex brain" is terrible at making good and rational decisions. Probably explains why our species has over-reproduced beyond all sane expectations. This is why birth control options that you choose ahead of time such as IUDs, birth control pills, vasectomies, etc. are so crucially important.
• 1/14/23 Now recommending This Book Is Gay by Juno Dawson just for the sex ed section, because it covers stuff that is relevant to literally everyone. I'd also like to mention that oral sex and anal sex both have a chance of giving you STDs and it does not matter what your gender or gender orientation is. So read the book, it'll help you be safe.
• Courting and wooing and persuading a person to come home with you is romanticized. However, that stretches the boundaries of consent, and in fact can be really bad. Ever known anyone who was emotionally blackmailed into losing their virginity by having their significant other threaten to leave them if they didn't put out? Yeah, don't be that guy. Or that chick. That is rape. Not violent rape but still rape. It might not be legally defined as rape, though; that's a problem. But it will permanently damage a person. Consent must be enthusiastic and freely given. I wish that was taught in sex ed!
• One classification of rape that is on the legal books in most cases is obtaining consent from someone who is under the influence of a mind-altering substance, such as alcohol. That does not legally classify as "consent." So guys who go to parties to ply women with alcohol and make them more submissive? Hmmmmm, maybe someone will be seeing you in court. Don't try to bone someone drunk if they didn't consent before they got drunk. In fact it is better if alcohol doesn't even enter the equation. I tell people who frequent bars in order to get laid the same advice and they never believe me, but it's true: if all you want to do is get laid, go to a place known for being a hookup destination (club, bar, etc.) and say so right off the bat. Yeah, most people you say that to might be insulted, but after a few dozen asks of different people, someone is likely to say yes. And a surprising amount of people hanging out in these places will feel a hell of a lot more respected than having some idiot come around with a tired pick-up line. We all know you're not interested in getting married, get to the point. Honesty is refreshing and more respectful.
• In any relationship ever: PEOPLE ARE NOT PROPERTY. You don't "stake your claim," claim your territory, or otherwise piss around the foundations and howl at the moon and say it's "yours." Just, no.
• If you've had any kind of mistreatment, sexually speaking, in your past, then it might be a good idea to get some therapy goin. Very few things are as harmful to one's mental state as sexual mistreatment. Above all, strive to get to the point of knowing at a gut level that it was not your fault. And I don't care what anyone says: you do not ever need to forgive. That's the most toxic thing about therapy and unfortunately lots of therapists are guilty of that nonsense. "You can't heal until you forgive." Ignore it! It's harmful!!! Put up strong boundaries instead, and if you need to take someone to court, so be it.
• There is such a thing as toxic femininity and toxic masculinity. Essentially they are the same thing: abuse of the other gender in order to power trip. Women do this often because it's glamorized to manipulate, coerce, and threaten one's partner into having power over them because "feminism." Men often do the same thing but more bluntly, through physical force, stubbornness, the way society is structured, etc., but both genders use all of these tactics to heap bullshit on their partners because we're human and humans suck. Both of these are strange responses to a cruel and uncaring world. Responses that are based on being even more cruel and uncaring and creating more of the same toxic stew; the same old power tripping "I am so great" ego trip that every human loves getting sucked into because in reality, we are not that strong, mighty, powerful, or important. Worse, we kind of need other people in order to survive if we are ever even slightly unlucky. The human ego doesn't like this. It thinks the only way to come out on top is to shove others down. So we wind up with bacon-scented grenade shaped soaps for men scared of "girly" Irish Spring soap, babymen who think it's somehow masculine to rely on a woman for their basic survival needs such as food and proper homekeeping, and 'womyn power' rallies where women scream in a demand for other people to give them their own power by giving them special privileges, massaging their feet, and peeling grapes for their Queen cause apparently they're not powerful enough to do it for themselves. How pathetic. Leave it to the Boomers. I think younger generations are not that stupid.
• No one ever talks about this but a major reason adults cringe when they hear about teenagers getting into sexual activity is because they remember how they were at that age: vulnerable, not that secure about their identities, and above all not emotionally mature. Both parties have to be mentally well, comfortable with who they are, well grounded enough to stay even-keeled if drama happens (and it will, good or bad), and in a situation where it is both safe and mentally wholesome for both parties to have sex in order to avoid all kinds of emotional problems later on. And people think this just happens in teenagers. Hell no! It's a problem for everyone. I wish parents would speak to their kids about this. How do you know if you and your potential partner are mature enough and comfortable enough with each other to have sex? I think a pretty good indicator is if you can laugh about it together. Can't do that cause you're too uncomfortable? Maybe wait til later.
• The fact we don't have a federally mandated age of consent that is 18 years old, and have not outlawed getting married at that age or younger, and have not outlawed arranged marriage, is extremely disturbing. The fact that we have a statute of limitations is also extremely disturbing. You might not be able to individually do anything about it unless you are a lawyer or a politician, but you can at least help by not being a creep. And by reporting creeps to the law. Since the law will "out" you to the accused if you do this the wrong way aka it will reveal your identity to the creep (yes, really), such as if you just call the cops on them, etc, if you are willing to accept the risk the perpetrator will still find out you sicced the law on them, use Crime Stoppers. Their whole deal is that they are supposed to keep whistleblowers anonymous. To keep yourself even more anonymous, the ideal way to do it would be to use Protonmail.com with a burner email address, using a proxy or better yet Tor, from both a computer and a network location that is not yours, and email one of these hotlines with the tip, but they don't seem to understand the notion of cybersecurity (sigh). You might need to do some digging to find their email address and anonymously tip them off. If that ain't gonna happen, both Buzzfeed News and The Guardian have directions for anonymous tipsters to follow. Yep, get the press involved if you need to.
• Some free advice: society myopically focuses on educating the young about sex but not about relationships. Love and romance are easily just as damaging and potentially life-ruining as sex. One can ruin your body, but the other can break your heart, and neither are so easily fixed. Proactively engaging in self-care, working on your self-esteem, and focusing on mental health maintenance are all just as important as using protection.
• Another thing never covered in my health class: vasectomies are outpatient surgery, safe, and not actually all that painful according to what I've heard and studied in my medical textbooks. Women don't have the monopoly on birth control. In fact you could even save genetic material (ahem) at a sperm bank in cryostasis before you get a vasectomy just in case you ever meet the right person and want to have a child together that is genetically yours - this is usually done for testicular cancer patients but it can also be done for you. Also, male birth control options are currently in development so keep an eye out for those. Look into all of this. If you are like a lot of people, and want to have the sex no strings attached and without relationships, but don't also want a lot of kids from assorted women you do not want to be tied to, this is important to consider. Also: no one will ever be able to sue you for child support or blackmail you into getting married. And that's great.
• Pregnant women sound off about what it's actually like to be pregnant AskReddit
• What To Expect Website for expectant parents
• AskMen article about consent
• 10/27/23 Here are a couple of websites that can help you or a friend with any addictions or (in the case of the first one) with serious mental health problems and/or addictions: Balancing Brain Chemistry With Peter Smith and How To Quit Heroin. Since I haven't tried hard drugs, I don't know how effective the latter website is though it is packed with common sense and over-the-counter, lifestyle, and herbal treatments for withdrawal. The former website, Balancing Brain Chemistry With Peter Smith, actually saved my life on several occasions when I was at my worst dealing with Lyme disease. I haven't praised the site enough on this one because said Lyme disease ate bits and pieces of my memory. As far as I know it's the best there is for non-drug treatments of mental health problems, though I don't agree with everything Peter Smith says.
• What is the difference between a drug addict and a "normal" person? What makes them do what they do? In my experience, actually, a lack of sufficient coping skills to deal with life as the cards have been dealt, coupled with a lack of ability to cover up the addictions because most if not all human beings are addicted to SOMETHING, they're just really good at hiding it, especially in plain sight under the guise of tradition, generally accepted behavior, or social custom. In fact I have a suspicion that the local tavern functioned as the town's therapist for much of human history. Well, that, and using religion as a blood sport, killing and waging war, commiting various crimes, seeking instant gratification at any price, and generally making planet Earth into the armpit of the Universe. Humans like to take our pain out on each other, despite being able to stop, because we don't usually have the presence of mind to realize we can change. However, just like every other kind of scapegoat, drug addicts are an easy target, which is why they're so often painted as monsters or some shit. Therefore Mental health stuff can help. What I have noticed is that mental health problems are usually the real gateway drug: trauma from child abuse, depression, bipolar disorder, etc.
• Another thing I've noticed about drug addicts that's significant enough to mention is a tendency to be extremely creative, unique, different, talented at some kind of creative endeavor, and perhaps even savant-level brilliant. People who are very different in our society are NOT TREATED WELL. This is something we have to change at a society-wide level. If you can see yourself in this description, even a little bit, then I would suggest nurturing yourself as well as you are able, and allowing yourself to be as creative as you want; most importantly finding a safe and utterly solitary place to do so. If/when you can, invest in a room for yourself with a good lock and total privacy (or something like that), and any supplies you want to feed your creative passion. Always invest in yourself; it pays off.
• The Heroin Diaries by Nikki Sixx is worth reading. There's a graphic novel adaptation of it too, which is imho even better. It has a soundtrack called the same thing. It is here: Youtube. Here is why it's so damned important. Dunno about you but I come from a background of being forced to sing anti-drug songs at MADD sessions in school, and also from a place where drug use was really rampant; one of these is realistic and one is just essentially telling children and teens "you're too stupid to make good decisions so memorize this brainwashing." I know from experience that what this guy is talking about is accurate in terms of how drug addicts live. I don't know if it would help you get clean but it's a much better resource than "just do it, I believe in you" type things.
• Rehab Reviews List of Affordable Programs for Rehab in the US
• Here is a substance abuse website that supposedly may help. Your mileage may vary. SAMSHA
• What happens if you say no to alcohol, hard drugs, weed, or whatever? One of two things. 1. the offerer gets all shitty and up in your face, trying to emotionally blackmail you into something that could ruin your life, which is a golden signal for you to get up and walk out because they suck and can go fuck themselves 2. the offerer gives you mad props and respect for being straightedge and you can see and smell the envy from them. I've seen both.
• WEED IS NOT A GATEWAY DRUG. Holy moly I have seen too much, and that much I know for certain. Now meth on the other hand. And prescription opiates. You could also make a good case for abusive relationships being a gateway drug, also abusive childhoods, mental health problems, lousy living situations, etc.
• Anything that can be injected can give you Hepatitis C, AIDS, or other "wonderful" diseases. That's a major reason why hard drugs are so dangerous, because once you're hooked on something, you'll do anything to get it in your system, and you won't give a damn about fear of needles. Therefore, if you are ever prescribed prescription opiates, such as Vicodin, Percocet, or Codeine, don't ever ask your doctor for refills unless your chronic pain is over 8 on the pain scale. It's a shit way to live. I speak from experience as a patient who was on opiates out of necessity - you can't think straight on it, you're constipated, no appetite, no real imagination, just a blurred out haze. The instant I could get off that shit cause my pain reduced I switched to marijuana (edibles with CBD aplenty) to control the pain and I suggest the same for you if you ever need pain control. That said, chronic severe pain is another beast entirely, and that is where long term opiates excel for patients; they still must take tolerance breaks to ensure they don't need to take more and more for the same pain control. Don't abuse opiates; chronic pain patients need it.
• Meth is another thing that can be smoked or injected. I've seen enough of the lifestyle of meth users to tell you that if you do it, kiss your dreams goodbye. Heroin, alcohol, I've seen a number of people who got clean from these, but meth, I only knew one person who quit it permanently. The rest are still tweaking and I'm not sure they're all alive anymore. One weird thing though, I could never even speak to a crack addict or someone hooked on cocaine and I can normally speak to just about anyone. People hooked on crack or cocaine seem to not have any friends cause they chase them all away with straight up insanity. They're annoying.
• People swear by shrooms and LSD to break them out of their mental ruts. Honestly, speaking as a Witch, you can definitely trip out as much as you want using nothing more than your mind, and that stuff is an expensive ripoff for the same benefits. Try some guided meditation, or really any of the thousands of kinds of meditation out there. Try some ecstatic dancing. Try some lucid dreaming. Make some art. If you feel called to experience mental adventures, then educate yourself on the things that will get you there, put in a little extra work, and reap the benefits. There's a whole world of it, and it won't carry a risk of making you go insane or of being cut with bad shit that could make you sick or kill you. I would recommend starting with whatever spiritual exploration techniques are already present in your own philosophy, spirituality, or religion; dig and you'll probably find it. Even science has its own ways of altering people's minds, such as sensory deprivation float tanks. Whatever works.
• Dunno if this changes anything but FYI the lifestyle of a drug addict is very familiar to the lifestyle of someone coping with Lyme disease or another chronic, crippling illness. It's pretty much the same. Pain, mental problems, laying around unable to do much, insanity, crap sleep, not being able to enjoy anything, downing pills in order to not have a mental breakdown, hoping it was just a nightmare but waking up into more of the same, you get the idea. The difference is that you can end drug addiction - you cannot end certain kinds of chronic illness (yet). In no way is this meant to belittle or make light of the difficulty of becoming sober.
• It's So Easy and Other Lies by Duff McKagan asserts that when grappling with addiction, it's a good idea to replace one addiction with healthier ones. I would tend to agree.
• Alcohol is another thing glamorized in movies, just like college. 90s kids were often kind of brainwashed into thinking that college and high school parties would be super fun if they just added booze. Unfortunately, that is not the case, because shitty boring people do not suddenly become interesting, witty, charming, or fun to hang out with once they have been boozed up. In fact they just get shittier. Nevertheless, people continue to try, so if you're going to drink, Learn! Your! Shot! Number! This is the number of shots you can physically and emotionally handle in order to get tipsy, but not plastered, hammered, pass-out-drunk, vomit-y or dead. Mine is one. I wish I was joking. I used to have a friend who said that the first sip of alcohol he ever took was like "I love you" and then he dealt with alcoholism for many years afterwards so if that's you, your shot number is Zero. Mocktails exist, learn them. They're actually really tasty. Another former alcoholic I once knew brewed up a big pot of coffee for himself every day, was really into AA and the 12-step program, and had a copy of the AA founder's book. So that works for some people. Here is their website AA - 6/20/24 note: With regards to the AA 12 steps don't go too crazy with them. They can make you really go overboard with self-loathing, and that's not helpful to anybody. Plus religion isn't actually a requirement, it says so in their 12 Traditions; they heavily imply it but outright reject any requirement to joining besides wanting to join to give up alcohol. It's also carefully worded: "God as you understand Him." Given that you could conceptualize God as the Force or Forces of Good, there is a whole lot of leeway there. Plus, there's a hefty element of escapism with alcohol that AA substitutes with turning over your responsibilities to one drug (religion) instead of the bottle, so take the entire thing with a giant iceberg of salt. Also consider if it was entirely useless or unhelpful I wouldn't be mentioning it as I personally know a couple people who did get sober with it, so obviously something there's working. - Life experience speaking here; take it or leave it: if you're boozing in order to bond with strangers, you are not at the right party and the people are overcompensating for their boring inner life with what they think is exciting. I always wanted to find a Bluto a la Animal House to party with and believe me that guy wasn't in need of booze to be the life of the party... and there's one in my life now yay. Learn some party tricks. Like get some powdered sugar, light a cone of paper on fire, hold it a few feet in front of you, stuff a handful of sugar in your mouth, and go "huh" with your mouth in an O. I call it "FOOM."* But if you're boozing anyway, have a wingman so you don't die. Also do not go to the party of a friend of a friend ever, doesn't end well. Yeeees... again, personal experience.
• Here is a warning about liver cirrhosis look at the comments holy crap
• Here is a self-test for alcohol abuse Auditscreen
• Here is a self-test for substance abuse that covers everything, not just hard drugs Johns Hopkins - can also include workaholism, sugar addiction, caffeine addiction, etc.
• Marijuana is often considered a light drug, as is tobacco. News flash guys, smoking anything is bad for your lungs. If you're talking about tobacco, it's just plain bad for you, and I think everyone knows that by now. Worse, smoking stuff actually creates secondhand and thirdhand exposure. So if someone with fibromyalgia or another condition like asthma occupies the room you've been renting after you, what you smoked in there will affect them. That tar and other crap will be essentially glued to the walls and the blinds and the carpet, and it's nearly impossible to get rid of. If it's an infant, it could cause them to die. Not kidding, secondhand smoke is a cause of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome; thirdhand smoke may or may not be connected but it is not a risk you'd want to take, right? If you're going to smoke and fuck up your lungs, do it outside, damn it.
• Vaping is "less bad for you" supposedly, but it is fucking expensive and are you really going to feel good about pissing away your life savings on something that's not food, rent, or emergency money and which racks up needless health expenses when you want to buy something you actually want for long-term fulfillment like maybe a cabin in the woods, an awesome car, or your own business or college in a field you are most passionate about? Because you won't be able to afford it since you'll only have money for the bare necessities if that? Hell no, and you're going to hate yourself for it.
• I have a personal vendetta against people who abuse weed and medical opiates, being a chronic pain patient. I need/needed that stuff. Like, really badly, two years of being insane due to the amount of physical pain I was in and then being bedbound for another five. Y'all abused it and as a result I can't have it. I hate you. Boo.
• r/BadWomensAnatomy helps debunk common myths around female anatomy. After many years of medical research I've come to the conclusion that indeed there is disparity between how female and male anatomy and health issues are understood, even by some doctors, so check out this sub, you might learn something. Of course just like everything else on Reddit take it with a grain of salt because it isn't exactly peer-reviewed or written by experts.
• r/BadMensAnatomy There is also a BadMen'sAnatomy! Check it out too.
• Also trying to get a copy of Doing It! by Hannah Witton. Seems to be a helpful guide to sex ed that includes LGBTQ+ topics.
• Here is a blog about which sex toys are safe and nontoxic, and how to not hurt yourself or others with sex toys. Dangerous Lilly
• Why do people have sex? Because it feels good and it bonds people more than just talking or snuggling. It is also instinctive and perpetuates the species, and like other instinctive things like eating or sleeping, can easily be carried to an extreme or be done in an unhealthy manner. Therefore sex must be done responsibly or you can mess it up. There, now you know more than I ever learned in high school sex ed. Here's another thing you should know. If you've never masturbated then you would probably be absolutely terrible in the sack. If you don't know how to please yourself then you won't have any idea how to make someone else please you and sex is not a martyrdom. The other person's pleasure relies on your own pleasure. If you aren't enjoying yourself neither will they. Don't believe me? Ask someone experienced. If you're super religious and only want married sex in the missionary position for the purposes of procreation then of course none of this applies, but you will probably need an outlet to deal with sexual frustration such as a creative pursuit like art, or intensive prayer, or a physical craft like gardening or sailing, or something. Keeping human impulses all stuffed up is bad; that stuff can and will find an outlet, and if you don't give it one, then you might find yourself losing your temper or dealing with mental problems. There is also a very real danger of not connecting well with your spouse emotionally, which you'd have to mitigate with lots of communication and non-sexual physical contact. There are, however, celibate people, and potentially in the future we might wind up with drugs that are anti-Viagra which promote celibacy in those who choose it. Also know that asexuality exists and for some people they just don't want to have sex ever, nor do they ever have the urge to.
• It is very important to talk about sexual compatibility and needs before entering into any relationship, particularly if you commit to anything, because otherwise you'll wind up with serious problems down the line. Very few people talk about their genuine sexual needs and preferences outside of a close relationship and you'd never know what they wanted if you got into that close relationship then didn't ask. Ask. Be specific and thorough with your questions and answer theirs honestly. You do not want to be finding this stuff out when you're just about to have sex; such conversations often lead to hormone-fueled arguments and can lead to a breakup. Potentially worse is finding out years after the fact that they're not fulfilled at all and they've been miserable the whole time. At any time in a relationship if there's some serious question like this you need to ask, ask!
• Entering into a relationship does not make you a mind reader. It does not make the other party a mind reader. Be extremely specific, precise, and detailed when talking to one another so you can avoid as many misunderstandings as possible, and for heaven's sake don't withhold any of the truth or lie even if it's a white lie. It's almost guaranteed to backfire.
• What is an orgasm? It is indescribable and the reason a lot of people have sex. However, if orgasms are the only goal of having sex, that's the equivalent of wanting to play basketball just for the sake of shooting hoops while ignoring both your own team and the other team. Might as well just masturbate if that's all you want. People who brag about how many orgasms they gave their partner are about as infamous as 'One Minute Man' by Missy Elliott. No one cares. Shut up.
• There is such a thing as a hymen. Various cultures consider it evidence of virginity, although it can tear like it would during sex thanks to things like horseback riding or vigorous physical activity; if you're female and out of nowhere your crotch started to hurt bad while you were doing something like that, it might have been that. It is a bit of flesh that partially covers the vaginal opening, and when a penis tries to enter the vagina, it has to go through the hymen. This usually hurts like a bitch and bleeds. The inside of the vagina itself is also not used to having a penis inside it and will probably hurt a lot. Potentially this can hurt less if the female is very aroused, but sex usually hurts for the female, and hurts a lot, for the first four or five sessions. If the man wants to actually not be a douchebag, he should understand this and be as gentle and patient as possible. Lube can potentially also help with this, but it's just as important as a sensitive man with self-control and respect. Do note: sometimes there are medical conditions such as a hymen without an opening or vaginismus that require medical attention; for these reasons it is very important for women to see a gynecologist before they become sexually active and preferably soon after they start their first period.
• There is such a thing as a clitoris. If you don't know what it is and you are a straight man or a lesbian, you are a sad, sad fucker. Look it up. In terms of getting off, the female equivalent of the penis is, in most cases, not the vagina. It is the clitoris. You can bang a chick for the duration of a whole relationship and never get her off because you do her in the wrong positions that don't stimulate her clitoris or allow her access to it. Many women go through their whole lives without once getting off because men seem to think it's all about the pussy and not the clitoris. Dumb.
• Safe sex: mutual or solo masturbation, buying nontoxic toys from a store and keeping them hygienic and never sharing them, properly using a condom, oral sex with a condom. Not safe sex: intercourse without a condom, oral sex without a condom, anal sex without a condom, sharing toys, "pulling out," literally any sex where you don't trust your partner completely. Oral and anal sex can both transmit STDs. The Pill doesn't protect against STDs, condoms do. Any kind of penetration of penis into vagina carries with it a risk of pregnancy, but condoms reduce the risk by a huge amount. Just a few examples.
• Here is how to use a condom. Combine this knowledge with what is written on the inside of the condom box. RedHead Bedhead article
• Upon deciding to have any kind of oral or penetrative sex with anybody, stop and ask them if they've been tested for common STDs first. Tell them your status. If you're sexually active and haven't been tested after your last partner, get tested first. Many clinics have free STD testing so check around your area to see where to go if you don't have insurance or something. If this is a factor, speak honestly about the possibility of pregnancy with them and what would happen if it happened. If they hedge or don't give you a straight answer; if there's any doubt in your mind at all, leave. This is respectful of them, this is respectful of you, this is key to having a good experience. If you think you won't be able to look them in the eye or even yourself in the mirror the following morning, that's a potential long term life regret, and why add that to your plate? Generally speaking if it would ruin your life (not just make it majorly awkward, inconvenient and difficult) to have an accidental kid with the person, it's a really bad idea to bone them. Yes, even if it's a same sex encounter.
• No means no. In a relationship. In a marriage. In any case, ever. Persuading someone into sex is still a "no." Anyone who isn't really sure is still a "no." Coercing someone because you're in a relationship and emotionally blackmailing them is definitely a "no"! Anything less than a totally enthusiastic "yes" is a "no," even if you're in the middle of sex if they say "no" or "stop" you have to stop or you could damage their mind, body, etc. Know that if you are in a relationship with this person or pursuing one and pull this shit they will never trust you again. Just in case you didn't read the linked article about consent.
• Do not learn about BDSM from 50 Shades of Grey. It's full of abuse and Grey is a rapist. The entire BDSM community would say so. Consent is key. Another major offender in terms of consent ethics is the Twilight series. It's got problems...
• Do not learn about sex from porn. It's not real. Similarly, romance novels are generally full of porn and are also not real. However they can teach a lot of other totally unrelated subjects because the authors often go a little extra to provide atmosphere!
• Do not learn about anything related to sex from someone who believes in "rape culture," thus absolving the rapist of most responsibility and claiming it in the name of feminism. They're idiots, and they probably won't have any facts to back up their claims. Fact: men can be raped. I have known a few who were. The fallout was predictably life-ruining. There are places in the world where "rape culture" exists, such as India and apparently Egypt, but in places where you have seen no evidence of it, yeah don't listen to people claiming it's still around.
• Before you become sexually active or if you already are, but haven't had this discussion with your doctor - have them give you a reproductive health examination, come prepared with a list of questions about sex (and remember to ask them), and ask for resources to learn as much as possible about safe sex. This is extremely important, for a wide variety of fairly scary reasons. Please do this!
• 2/15/23 Here's something everyone with a female body needs to know: losing virginity will likely hurt. A whole lot. If female, you can generally learn a lot about any male partner by how they cope with that and help you through it. If you can't talk about this with the guy beforehand however, that's a very good sign you need to nope the heck out of there.
• Every box of condoms has directions for proper use either on the condoms themselves or on the inside of the box. Follow these directions to the letter. Also, have water-based lube handy such as K-Y or Astroglide; pop culture says a lot about 'getting your friction on' but that hurts and can break the fucking condom, so just don't okay. Ladies, any man refusing to wear one of these is not a keeper, dump him. Guys, any woman poking holes in these is a psychopath and frankly just as bad as a rapist; some women do that. Actually some women pretend to be on the Pill for the tax benefits, child support, and welfare popping out a kid provides. Yipe.
• Shower, scrubbing out all areas of crotch except inside the vagina itself, and pee before and after sex. Both parties have to. UTIs are bad.
• Speaking of other stuff that can give you ahem, health issues: sex on the beach (sand, sand everywhere!), sex in a jacuzzi, sex in a pool or any body of water, really acrobatic positions that could potentially bend the penis in an unhealthy way or break the penis (yes, you can break your penis), getting experimental with what is an is not usable as a sex toy. The 'dick/pussy on the brain' brain and the 'common sense' brain are not connected. Know this. Take a minute to think through the consequences, like that Eminem song or the Big L song 'shoulda used a rubber.' If in your sex-addled state you aren't quite sure if it's a good idea but it sounds really really good, it is NOT a good idea, DON'T do it, LOL
• See this? He died. Truly a tragic story.
• Don't film it. Don't try the "in public" idea when everyone and their brother has an iPhone with which to film; Kelis came out with "Let's Have Sex In Public" before everyone had a portable cheap video camera. Don't put it on porn websites. Don't take pictures. Your ex or soon to be ex might just post up your sexts. Don't, don't, don't, basically everyone watches porn, including every potential boss you could ever have in the future, and the internet is forever.
• There is such a thing as the morning after pill, which is infinitely better as an option than the abortion pill, one of the kinds of which is called RU-486. Don't let it get to that point. As soon as possible after sex where say, the condom broke or (argh) you didn't use one, get ye to the drugstore and buy the morning after pill, down it right away. It'll make you crazy for a few days and will bring on your period. Will you know if sperm met egg and conception happened? No. You can only hope it didn't. And often, women will miscarry invisibly anyway if their periods happen to come early. That's nature for you. But yes, this is infinitely better than pursuing an abortion... yike.
• Ladies pay attention: if you have a planner (and you should, it's really handy), on day 1 of your period write down the number on the day it started, then track the days until you get to day 28 or however long your cycle is. Once your next period arrives, mark it as 1 on your calendar and count up to 28 again. After a few times of tracking how long your cycle is, you can start planning for when the hell the next bloodfest will begin, oh joy.
• The rhythm method, aka natural family planning, is actually quite simple. Given that most women ovulate (become fertile) at about day 14 of their cycle (plus or minus a few days) and ovulation lasts about 2 and a half days, with day 1 of menstrual cycle being the beginning of their period, and that sperm can survive for about 7 days outside of a man, you can time sex to make extra certain it doesn't result in pregnancy. There are other signals of ovulation (grossness incoming), such as mittelschmerz (pain in the side of the abdomen in roughly the uterus area), slippery vaginal mucus that looks like egg whites and is clear and stretchy, elevated body temperature, breasts that are more perky, and increased sex drive in the woman. So generally speaking you wouldn't want to have sex during the week after one's period if that period lasts 7 days, and you'd need to wait for about 5 extra days after that as well. In other words roughly day 20-28 of your cycle should be safe for having sex with a reduced risk of pregnancy - BUT some women ovulate twice without any symptoms, so... also use condoms according to the box's directions, and water-based lube and you're probably golden. If something goes wrong, use Plan B or the herbal version, see next point.
• There is such a thing as Plan B. It brings on a period if taken within 24-48 hours after sex. I created an herbal substitute for people who do not have access to it here which is literally just fresh ginger, parsley, oregano and optional brown sugar in a pot of water, but there's a trick to making it involving dosages, just read the recipe ok? There is also such a thing as Plan B for if you have been exposed to HIV. You can get it from a doctor and it prevents you from contracting it.
• Nobody talks about periods, but Buzzfeed does. In fact it never shuts up about them. Hooray? Buzzfeed Click the articles recommended below the article and you'll absorb everything you need to know by osmosis. Bear in mind they aim for shock value, but tend to be relatively accurate nonetheless. Try not to get too freaked out. By the way, never leave a tampon in for longer than 8 hours, and preferably keep it below 6 hours. Toxic Shock Syndrome can kill you!
• Period Tracker is a Google app that seems to be very, very helpful indeed for managing symptoms of the cycle. You might look into it if you've got a smartphone. Period Tracker If you don't, then you might want to track days-of-period with predictions of PMS on the days you know you tend to get it, food cravings, and helpful notes for managing symptoms and preventing others at the appropriate times using something like a day planner.
• If you do not enjoy bloodstains on your underwear, it is very helpful to wear multiple layers of underwear with strong elastic, especially overnight, and don't forget to use the overnight extra-long kind of pads. I don't know if this is bad for your circulation or whatever but it sure saves your stuff. When that inevitably still fails, soak bloodstained underwear in a bucket of cold water with a handful of salt overnight, drain the water, then scrub at the blotches with a paste of OxiClean and a little water and a paper towel, and then launder in laundry machine with yet more OxiClean and the normal amount of laundry detergent (yes, use both). It will still not completely work so it is recommended to have two sets of underwear, one for periods and one for non-period.
• A good bunch of stuff to carry if you ever want to be someone's hero when they get their period unexpectedly or simply don't have necessary stuff on them: naproxen sodium for cramps, semisweet chocolate treat such as a Clif bar or chocolate bar, pads, tampons, black tea with ginger powder and ginger chews (or candied ginger) for further reducing cramps, ibuprofen for cramps (supposedly works better for some people; kicks in faster than naproxen sodium; is fastest if it's the liqui-gel kind and does NOT combine well with naproxen sodium so pick one), electrolyte drink of some sort because cramps do have to do with muscles overworking and electrolytes might help with that. At home, you could also keep around a couple microwavable rice heat packs, orange juice (reduces cramps thanks to the vitamin C for some reason), some hot water bottles, some thick socks, and a sweater, because keeping warm also reduces cramps in a lot of women. Direct heat on the cramping area also helps, both on the back and on the front, so hot water bottles help with that. Do note supposedly some women feel better with cold instead of heat, such as ice packs (!!!) and for them, tea of chamomile in combination with pineapple juice on the side might be better than black tea in combination with orange juice on the side.
• Fresh ginger tea is an age-old remedy for period cramps in China. About 3" of fresh ginger, wash, peel, thinly slice, simmer in 4 c. water on medium heat for 20 minutes, add 1 tbsp dark brown sugar, drink while it's hot. Ginger is a blood thinner so do be aware of that, and it might react with prescription medications. Generally speaking ginger tea is not as effective as NSAIDs like naproxen sodium so it's best used only if the period cramps are mild.
• Also in China: a belief that women must rest on their period, at least for the first three days, and keep warm especially feet and lower back, plus eat a bunch of warm nourishing food. This supposedly helps with health and energy levels throughout the rest of the month. It does seem to make a difference so I suggest it.
• Iron pills may be important on one's period to reduce fatigue due to iron-deficiency anemia, but too much iron can kill you (really) so be sure to clear it with a doctor. Other sources of iron include all red meat, organ meats, oysters, clams, dark-fleshed fish, and to a lesser extent egg yolk. These are sources of heme iron, which is better absorbed than plant-based nonheme iron, such as from cooked collard greens or kale, cooked tomatoes, cooked beets, potato skin, lentils, kidney beans, and molasses. Other things that can help keep up one's strength during a period include cooked sweet potatoes, molasses ginger cake, and vitamin C-containing foods like orange juice, because vitamin C aids in the absorption of iron. Sweet potatoes contain vitamin A, and molasses ginger cake contains well, lots of iron. And all of these are sweet, boosting blood sugar, thus, energy. Do be sure to consume enough iron throughout the month if you're female, since that time of the month can be worse if you don't.
• 4/17/24 Another less obvious lifehack for periods is to drink more liquids, especially water.
• Microwavable heat packs or hot water bottles can be experimented with to determine the best placement to reduce period pain. On the soles of the feet is one underrated area, besides obviously placing one on the lower abdomen. You can also put one in the small of the back, or a couple on either side of the torso if you've got big hot water bottles. Don't overheat, and drink lots of liquids.
• Drinking a cup of organic nonfat milk per day during the week before a period may reduce cramps. So can stocking up on iron stores by eating iron-rich foods. The trick is not to eat calcium and iron foods together because calcium inhibits iron absorption.
• If you get leg cramps the week before your period, you may be assisted by black tea. Beware, it too reduces iron absorption. Don't take it within a couple hours of a meal.
• This is PMS Mayo Clinic article. It happens every month for most women. Periods ruin everything. Everything. No one likes them.
• Owner's guide to vaginas Buzzfeed article
• Owner's guide to penises Buzzfeed article
• What not to do to a vagina (guide for women) Buzzfeed article
• Things you should not do to a penis (guide for men) Buzzfeed article
• Some tips on how to deal if you think you might be LGBTQ+ LGBTQ Stuff
• Dental dams article (important for nonbinary folks) Buzzfeed
• If you want to transition genders, please understand that the science and the medicine is progressing but is still dangerous. Surgery is a humongous deal. Common sense would also say it is also not a good idea to transition before the age of 18 so one's body can go through puberty first. In all things related to this topic it's best to ask a really good doctor.
• What To Expect When You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff - the whole series. The first one opened my eyes. Did you know newborns wake up every four hours because they need to be fed?
• Quick reason why it is important to use condoms properly (which is explained on each box of condoms btw) What Happens When You Give Birth - take it with a grain of salt, this doesn't all happen for every single woman but most of it does. Bear in mind that with the proper information and a birth plan worked out with your medical team beforehand, this is much more doable and much less scary. Read What To Expect When You're Expecting. Go to prenatal appointments and ask a lot of questions, or if not pregnant but curious, ask your doctor a list of them. Even men can ask doctors anything they want regarding pregnancy and birth. Oh, also: not giving birth in a hospital is extremely dangerous and ill-advised. Reason: hygiene, and possible access to OR if needed for a C-section. Historically speaking one of the most common causes of death for a woman was childbirth. Why go back there?
• It is unknown whether this was a quirk of older generations, like Boomers and Gen X, or whether it's a human nature thing, but growing up my peer group and I noticed quite a lot of older women going baby crazy. As in, they'd demand pregnancy from their partners and "try a lot" - often, really really awkwardly, talking about it in public. What was really disturbing about it was the entitlement, the belief that one deserved a baby related to them because one was in a relationship, and to hell with the consequences; they'd do anything to get one. Even if their partners didn't want children it was socially acceptable to talk about coercing them. Maybe it was related to the supposedly Biblical injunction to be fruitful and multiply (which in the original Hebrew version is "and you will be fruitful and multiply," not "you SHOULD be fruitful and multiply"). Maybe it was due to social acceptability or the desire to get high off the oxytocin-laced bonding between mother and new baby. That cuddly feeling you get when looking at cute things or getting a hug? Thank oxytocin. Maybe it was instinct, or wanting a supposed "piece of yourself" to continue living after you were gone (which by the way is not gonna happen because your genes are not YOU), or worse, wanting a lifelong slave. I honestly fear for the health and safety of their babies because that is a narcissistic thing to do, to have a baby because you "want one" instead of because you want to have a child and show it all the wonders of the world, and also to humiliate one's partner in public like that. Deciding to bring a child into this world should not be a selfish decision, but if there's any indication you are ever in a relationship with a woman like that, run!
• There might be a link between the women who went baby crazy and the women who think motherhood is some kind of great achievement and think it entitles them to medals, accolades, and awards. Anyone can become a mother. Few can become a mom. If you find yourself pregnant and genuinely want to do your best to give the child a good life, plan on putting all your effort into doing your best, then actually do your best, yep, that's doing it right. For those who were raised by narcissists, aka those who did parenting wrong, there's always r/narcissisticparents.
• Large-breasted women need to wear an underwire bra or very supportive wireless bra underneath a sports bra (at least) for proper support. Not wearing proper support can result in back scar tissue, back pain, and breast pain post-workout. Also can result in sagging breasts long term.
• Excessive pain during menses is not normal and should be discussed with a gynecologist. Also: the Pill before age 18 can have serious long term consequences. Be wary of taking the Pill for excessive pain during menses; it is overprescribed and can mask symptoms of a more serious problem (i.e. endometriosis).
• Quick guide to post-baby body Buzzfeed article
• Kegel exercises Harvard Health Publishing - very important, especially the older you get, elsewise women may have uterine prolapse, which is just about as awesome as it sounds (aka not). They are helpful for men too, in preventing urinary incontinence as they age.
• It is always a good idea to discuss potentially seeing a pelvic floor therapist with your gynecologist after having a baby. Birthing injuries can damage your body in various ways and there are ways of fixing that which include physical therapy and other medical interventions. Most women don't even know that such things a. happen and b. can be fixed.
• Sex toy myths Dangerous Lilly Because the ER is probably tired of seeing people come in after realizing that something probably shouldn't have been used as a sex toy.
• There is a book called the Goofy Foot Guide to Getting It On. It's pretty good for becoming un-clueless.
• Several sex myths teens and adults may believe if uneducated Redheadbedhead and website source RedHeadbedhead
• “Birds and bees” website Teen Source
• A note on teen pregnancy: I've known a couple that had a child as teenagers. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it was hard for them. But they did the best they could. So it definitely can be done, but please, if you're in this situation, reach out to get as much help and support as you can. And you will probably need a job, as well as counseling, and support from family and friends. Ask for help if you can, even if it's just advice from Reddit. It's better than nothing. The biggest issue besides low self-esteem (thanks, societal pressure) seems to actually be finances. See Finance.
• Full explanation of how sex works Planned Parenthood which you should definitely read if you're clueless, in order to avoid a depressing trip to Planned Parenthood. Seriously, who even wants abortions?
• Even if you've been around the block and have had plenty of sex, chances are you are still more clueless than you'd realize. Why? We live in a society that is simultaneously obsessed with porn (which is actually full of really bad sex that can break someone's dick) and so prudish it refuses to educate youth about STDs and how pregnancy happens. It is unhealthy and not a good atmosphere in which to learn how to not hurt one's sex partner or one-night-stands. Therefore it is a really good idea to buy books on sexual technique. Seek out these authors in particular: Lou Paget, Barbara Keesling. And for learning about foreplay developing a habit of reading romance novels sure helps.
• Miscellaneous topics not usually covered in sex ed Buzzfeed - also note: any questions you might have can probably be answered if you type their topic into the search bar up top. You can also browse the articles on Buzzfeed to see what you find but beware: graphic descriptions, some of them kind of traumatizing.
• Boo! It's Sex! webcomic
• r/birthcontrol
• Nobody talks about the other ways of bonding with another person that don't involve sex, and that's a major societal oversight. So many relationships are held together with only sex, marriage/duty/societal expectations, and/or children as glue. What happened to communication? Date night? Having fun in a collaborative manner? Getting into the other person's interests so you can have common ground? If you can discuss this with someone, you'll learn a lot.

Parenting: HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING

• Learning to parent is not just helpful for parents. It helps you learn how to treat yourself, what is healthy and not healthy for teaching children, and how to relate to children. Importantly, it also helps you learn what is toxic behavior in parenting so that you can zero in on what went right or wrong during your own childhood so you can rewrite the narrative for the next generation. No one really "has all the answers" but the more people focus on the issues, the more we can avoid past mistakes. Parenting is actually the most important job in the world, if you really think about it.
• P is for Pterodactyl: The Worst Alphabet Book Ever by Raj Haldar
• Single Dad Laughing: The Complete First Year by Dan Pearce
• Dr. Spock’s Child Care series
• 365 Days of Creative Play by Sheila Ellison & Judith Gray
• The Book of Gardening for Kids by Whitney Cohen and John Fisher
• Let's Play Traditional Games of Childhood by Dusan Petricic and Camilla Gryski
• The Ultimate Disney Party Book by Jessica Ward, because it has a Captain Hook party in it, and that is awesome
• Baby Center An online resource for parenting babies and toddlers
• Bill Nye the Science Guy TV show - great for kids
• Beakman's World TV show - great for kids
• The Magic School Bus TV show - great for kids
• Eyewitness British TV show - great for kids
• Flight of Dragons movie
• The Knights of Boo'Gar by Art Roche - surprisingly good bedtime story
• All the Miyazaki films except for Grave of the Fireflies
• AirBnb simple tips for childproofing Airbnb
• r/parenting
• Instructables collection Contains lots of DIY fun activities for keeping kids busy and out of trouble
• Fun On The Run by Joanna Cole - helps kids stay entertained on car trips, with clean humor that grown-ups are likely to laugh at also. It's a hidden gem and I recommend it!
• The Complete Resource Book for Preschoolers by Pam Schiller and Kay Hastings - added 10/25/24. Fantastic! Not too complicated so really little people can follow along and actually enjoy learning while playing. Good for babysitting littles too.
• Please also see the Fun section for help with keeping little ones entertained. Without screens.

Exercise (general)

• There is a right and a wrong way to exercise. This is not the right way. linkout
• Beginner’s Health and Fitness by Liam Rosen: HELPFUL FOR HOMESCHOOLING Liam Rosen
• Outdoor Recreation REI Expert Advice
• r/Bodyweightfitness
• You Are Your Own Gym by Mark Lauren
• Convict Conditioning by “Coach” Paul Wade
• Callanetics by Callan Pinckney

Swimming

• Check at your local pool. Usually beginner classes are relatively cheap.
• Red Cross swimming classes Link out
• r/Swimming

Accessibility; Section Added 5/26/24

• Home Accessibility by Shelley Peterman Schwarz - helpful for understanding design tips for any home, business, or public area to improve accessibility. Also helpful for individuals who have any disability or chronic condition such as oh, you know, the natural human aging process. So last time I checked that's everybody.

And now that you have gotten through this gigantic section have Mario And Luigi Having An Argument

*Please don't sue me.

Big Brain Time

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