Women's Rights

Under construction. Will be providing as many resources as possible for y'all. 6/23/22 will also soon be adding information for men to help with this effort. Especially incels and chauvinists. Oh, yes. You read that right. 6/28/22 here you go

Good mental health is the bedrock of empowerment imho. Having an excellent therapist or at least healthy coping mechanisms until you get one is totally underrated. And I'm pretty certain that the longer you chip away at mental health issues, the more things improve in life. This is a long-haul effort.

From personal experience, take it or leave it: Don't chain yourself up or hold yourself back. Don't pretend to be dumber than you are or stifle your own voice. Don't pretend to be less strong than you are. Don't deny your own personal, spiritual truth. Don't be afraid to act like a "man" (I'm talking toxic masculinity here, of the muscle-bound screaming clod type) in terms of being a total absolute asshole in order to get what you physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually truly need, as long as you do not harm the innocent and are ethical about it. Women and nonbinary folks are brainwashed to never cause harm, even in self-defense or in desperate circumstances, by both chauvinists and Feminists, which is the most disempowering shit in the universe. (Feminists will gladly tell us to cause harm to the innocent, though, instead of bringing real criminals to justice.) And above all, don't drink the kool-aid; think critically, think for yourself, be skeptical. Don't ever be afraid to think of or imagine anything; thoughts are not things, there is no such thing as a thought crime so daydream away. Know that the "medicine" is often the poison, fed to you by well-meaning or otherwise... critters.

It is important for women and nonbinary people to understand that we are often taught since birth that we don't have a choice within our own minds to have free will and strength, or not. We are taught to rely on others, to not think for ourselves, to give away our freedom of choice, be that by Feminists or by Chauvinists or just by society at large. Usually this is done through a process of psychological breaking, a "don't you dare try to be other than this mindset or you'll be severely punished and/or killed" type thing that winds up trapping you within chains of your own mind, by your own mind. Try this if you would like to break free of that: understand that at any given moment, you can decide to be strong. You can decide to ask yourself "what is strength?" and try to be mentally and spiritually strong... try. Also understand that at any given moment, you do have free will, and you do have a choice as to what kind of person you want to be, and what kind of choices you want to make. The illusion of lack of personal choice is something most of society has swallowed, but it's garbage. You have potential personal strength, and power over your own choices within your own mind and mindset as to the kind of person you want to be and the life you lead. And what's weird is claiming any or all of this philosophy and actually trying this is not only not hard but... somehow feels right. For me at least. Try it y'all, maybe it'll help. One thing to remember, so you aren't too hard on yourself: two words can shoot all your best intentions to shit here: mental illness. And most if not all women have experienced a temporary mild-to-severe version of this during hormonal times of the month or life transitions. Therefore learning all you can about mental and physical health and how to maintain it is definitely good.

Good books to help with self-esteem:

The Sweet Potato Queens series by Jill Conner-Browne - added 5/30/24. Why did I forget to put these in here? Argh!!! Anyway these are great for women and nonbinary folks and men too. You want a better quality of life here it is.
Girlfriends Forever by Susan Branch - added 12/7/22 - one of those books you can dip into at any time and come away with new super helpful insight. There are a bunch of other books written by Susan Branch, recommended also.
When I was not looking Peg Bracken came right into my life and stole my heart. I recommend everything she wrote.
Anything by Alison May, of BrocanteHome, for assistance in housekeeping and self-care
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (really; just ignore the shitty relationships and the toxic fandom please)
Why Should YOU Care What Other People Think? by Richard Feynman
Ballerina Body by Misty Copeland
How To Be You by Jeffrey Marsh
The Star Diaries by Stanislaw Lem
Un@#*^ Your Brain by Faith G. Harper
Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach
10 Days to Self-Esteem by David Burns, M.D.
Any good book for parenting, to help you reparent yourself, particularly if you had to go through the public school system at any point. I'm currently working through the books by Joanna Cole and Joe Rhatigan. They are great.
The American Girls Handy Book by Lina and Adelia B. Beard, and quite possibly the other stuff they wrote - a treasure trove of interesting and somehow still relevant ideas. Of course, since it's from the turn of the previous century, not everything will still be relevant, accurate, or even necessarily should be taken "as is," but is well worth the read and the experimenting with. Highly recommended for everyone.

Good music for same: heavy metal, hardcore punk, emo stuff from the 00s like Bullet For My Valentine and Hawthorne Heights, whatever is your personal favorite

Good TV for same: Star Trek... of course. Strangely, just about all media intended to be some sort of female empowerment or role model is like, the opposite. That said Velma is great. 1/23/23 I think it's important to mention I wrote all this stuff long before the thing named Velma actually came out. I refuse to watch it.

Good books for understanding men's type weirds, section added 5/20/24

The Smart Girl's Guide to Sports by Liz Hartman Musiker - this is a trip. Although its language and the context of these sports is dated, since this came out in 2005, and it has some cringe casually racist language, it's worth reading. If you've ever wondered why the hell you or anyone would sit around watching grown men bitch at one another and play with their balls*, this helps you get it. Like, really get it, as in the "why" part not the kajillion rules of whatever sport. But you get some of that too. The book could use a reprint updated for the 2020s.
*and not even in the context of what you're probably thinking about right now

Empowering hobbies

Voracious reading of nonfiction, especially whatever relates to things you need to learn at that particular point in time
Whatever makes you happy. Your happiness is important.

Good subjects to learn for self-empowerment:

Military science, strategy, warfare. For obvious reasons I am not putting that on this website. I suggest you get this kind of training from the best possible sources available to you, in a manner that is ethical and correct for you. Not everyone wants to be a soldier. That said, every woman should go through basic training. Every woman should at least learn the basics of strategy and tactics in warfare. Of that I am certain.
Math and its associated discipline, Logic
Business, also see Shopping for some helpful resources
Finance
Law I apologize for the lack of resources here. Working on it.
Science, because nothing on planet Earth is quite as effective at hobbling women's potential, and indeed anyone's potential, as scientific illiteracy - if you do not know the truth you have no chance of changing it
History
Computer Science
Psychology (haven't added that section yet, but here is Mental Health)
Medicine (still under construction) Health section and Medicine
Sociology and Critical Thinking (also haven't added that, but here is Detecting BS and Adulting)
Point the men in your life to Adulting and Lifehacks and Shopping sections. They are not taught this kind of stuff. Also, you'll probably need to hold their hand and teach them this stuff and all of the other stereotypically female skills over time. Worth it!
Ask the men in your life to teach you the things they know also, in return. Also worth it!
Entrepreneurship, because earning your own money as a self-employed person is far, far more empowering than working for an idiot of a boss. Will be adding this info ASAP.
Learn obstetrics, gynecology, and midwifing. Learn it with any men or romantic partners or friends in your life, because it's tough to cope with and mostly sad, but very necessary knowledge. (Learn it for real, not that herbalism-and-crystals crap that was posited by Feminists in the 60s. That's supplemental info and only potentially helpful.) I'm astonished it is not taught in health class in school. Warning: you will need to learn about surgery, or what is called "heroic western medicine" and that is gory and kind of gross. It is what it is.
Learning about proper communication skills and what a healthy relationship looks like is also a skill that is underrated, and also ties into reproductive rights. Will add when possible.
Interestingly, women's history has been buried not only by men but by Feminists who lauded a lot of really mediocre and frankly unethical women just because they were women, and not the genuinely powerful inspiring ones who kind of got ignored by all genders despite their accomplishments. Surface analysis of history of the kind you get in school will get you nowhere, so dig deeper. Learning enough history in enough detail will rid you of any lingering notion that women are somehow less powerful than men. NO, Goddess damn it, I am not talking about "herstory," whatever concocted bullshit that is, I'm talking about whatever has actual evidence behind it instead of mere hearsay, such as archeological evidence and archived diaries and so on, contrived-importance-of-gender nonsense be damned. Here is one good example - meet Lady Death
Here are a few names of my heroes, and I honestly think it's insulting to have their female-ness played up every time their names are mentioned because it's a bit like saying Gandalf the Grey was such a great wizard because he was male. Anyway, the list: Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Stagecoach Mary, Harriett Beecher Stowe, Clara Barton. There are many more but I think I've made my point.

Good stuff to master to compete with physical (and mental) guys on the same playing field:

Firstly, understand this: Feminism claimed that women get power by demanding it. This only works if the people you are demanding power from are inherently weaker than you, such as children, employees, gullible people and so on. Most of the time this victimizes the innocent and is evil, thus garnering a very bad reputation in the long run. Worse, it also claimed that women get power by "whatever means necessary" because the end justifies the means, thusly encouraging Sith Lord-like behavior and also garnering said bad reputation. Hence, Feminism played itself. If you want power, take it honorably from those who are stronger than you and holding you down, not weaker and innocent. Take it, don't ask for it. And the only way you do this is by getting stronger in every way you can: physically, professionally, intellectually, with wisdom, with virtue, and with fighting ethically and intelligently for what you need. I said fighting. In some cases that means war. In others that means wrestling to make space for yourself in a hostile environment. It's the hard way and it's the only way that doesn't let you down in the long run. I saw my mother doing this. It works.
Don't make the mistake of assuming that men get their strength from their genetics, their muscles, or their physical training. They're born and raised to be mentally tough, or else other guys call them pathetic, etc. And women are not raised like that. It all starts in the mind, so start there yourself. Whenever you want to give up, look at your brain and go like "we are not doing that today."
Master the art of thinking with your head and making decisions with it as opposed to intuition, heart, or gut. The latter three should be considered as inputs, not the end-all-be-all; if you use them to make decisions for you then you can and will act like a drug addict. Seen it all before. Being drunk on emotion is no way to get your point across, let alone live a good life. Both Chauvinists and Feminists provide abundant examples of this taken to an extreme. Think Vulcan-type logic here and you will see your life improve by leaps and bounds. "Feminine intuition" used to make all major life decisions is nothing more and nothing less than shackles. I am speaking from bitter experience.
Don't fear men. In my experience and that of every other person I know, men are every bit as sensitive and human as women are, just not good about showing it.
Put you first, at least a little bit. (not talking about not putting your kids first, or being a good family-oriented person; talking about setting aside space for yourself within your own mind and life) Ask yourself what you want to do with your life. Not what you should, or have to, or must. Want. Once you do seriously consider this, keep doing this. The answers are not easy to find. What they say about not being able to pour from an empty cup is completely true; I've seen too many hollow-eyed people just going through the motions. That helps no one. Incidentally, most religions and cults revolve around forcing you to never do this. There's no faster way to break a person.
Bodybuilding, especially via lifting weights
Cardio training
Seek out and hunt down your personal weaknesses, and train to beef up specifically those areas so there are fewer weak links in your skill tree. For me? Communication skills and some other things. I'm working on it (thumbs up)
Intellectual training. I'll be honest, I'm not quite sure how to "brain build," but I'm playing around with various methods to see what works and what doesn't. It seems to be just as important as strength training. Visualization and spatial orientation skills also seem to be in shorter supply if you were born female, so therefore training to get better at these things might just assist with a lot.
Sports in general, whatever you are interested in, as long as you're serious enough about it to get really fired up. Like most non-100%-male folks, sports bored the shit out of me, but I found a good "in." Sports anime. Eyeshield 21, Slam Dunk, All Out!. Now I get it. Maybe it'll interest you too.
Hobbies, pastimes, or otherwise how to have fun on your days off and during time off
Video gaming on impossible mode and in live matches
Any and all competitive games, IRL as sports or tabletop games, and/or online
Develop a far thicker skin, to the point of not giving a shit what anyone thinks ever (except for maybe whatever is Sacred in the Universe, and your conscience)
Anything that will get you called a dyke (great!) or have people doing a double take going "why is a nice lady like you learning that?" Car repair is a good example.
Concealed carry training; get that license, carry that on ya. The only real empowerment, practically speaking (I am definitely not talking about spiritual empowerment) in this world is the ability to kill and be able to look yourself in the mirror afterwards. It's fucked up but it's true. Learn to deal death, just in case. Think about the ethical and moral implications also, and reason it through very thoroughly. Yes, getting training in the police or from the Armed Forces is also helpful if you can go for it. Ongoing training there? Even better. Why? Because no matter how much you might want this to not be true, someone else is out there learning the same thing to specifically prey on the helpless. Ironic that the best people, the kindest, and the most honorable are so averse to bearing arms and going to war when they are the only ones who can do that kind of thing ethically.
I don't like saying this, because I was medically disqualified from the Marines. Twice. So I don't have the experience to be able to tell you to go join the Armed Forces or not to go, but look within you, if you're interested, and talk to a lot of our active duty troops and veterans about military service, and not recruiters, to get a full explanation of what you'd be in for if you joined. I'm saying this because today I heard from the President apparently only 1% of this country's population consists of veterans, and to someone from an Israeli family (it's all veterans; the draft takes every 18yo Israeli citizen, male and female, into the IDF aside from people who game the system such as the ultra-orthodox and conscientious objectors that wind up jumping through umpteen hoops and doing community service) that is both terrifying to me and kind of sad. So it had to be said.
Medical training, as much as you can get. In the Israeli Defense Forces all soldiers are required to learn basic first aid, and like, they're effective. With that in mind, it would really help you not get caught off guard if you learned this kind of thing. Plus, it's the tech specs of the human body, always useful to learn.
Any and all advanced college degrees. Other official licensing, certification, and training. Collect those fancy pieces of paper and have the necessary earned mental and physical skillz to back them up, and take on the world.
Kaizen. Whatever you're good at, get better at it and don't stop getting better at it. Resting on your laurels is a sure recipe for missing something important. Speaking from ahem, personal experience.
Despite whatever you've heard from anyone, competition among men is fierce, and to play on the same playing field you have to be as tough as they are. It's pretty standard fare to have people telling women and nonbinary folks that if they just bring their A game to anything, they'll be fine, not realizing that we are not raised with a constant dog-eat-dog free-for-all fight mentality like men are (pretty much since they're born, too). They have a leg up on us in terms of sheer experience trying to be the top dog. This puts you at a disadvantage. Therefore, put in more sweat equity to get to their level. This counts in terms of overall education level, confidence level and courage and experience gained from self-knowledge facing extreme challenge, amount of money earned, strategic thinking, and also physical ability. Also, put in extra effort in every field that is important to you, such as where your ambitions and passions are. Get good. You can ask pretty much any woman or nonbinary person about what happens if you don't. No bueno!
Take no shortcuts. Have patience and plug away at building a strong foundation for everything you need and want to learn and do. Build a strong foundation, and then build the rest just as carefully. Take a step towards your goals, ensure it's solidly built, then take another. Whatever you're doing, no matter how humble or esteemed, throw quality into the work. The hard way is the only way. Even if you're working magic. Especially if you're working magic.
Learn how to recover from and cope with humiliation, failure, and defeat. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, spit in the face of challenge, and bring a bigger fight. Learning this kind of thing actually has its own learning curve, though, don't expect to be great at it right off the bat. Also: no matter how good you get at this, there's always something out there that can chew you up and spit you out. That's not a mark of personal failure. That's life.
Engrave this on your gray matter: you have an asset and a detriment. Asset: You can do just about anything you set your mind to. Detriment: You can do just about anything you set your mind to. I say this because most school systems teach you that there's only one way to solve an open-ended problem, such as how do I make a garden? How do I set up a letter-writing station? How do I roast this turkey? And so on and so forth. Really the number one ingredient in accomplishing anything is guts. Certainly not gender, appearance, privilege, or any of that other superficial crap. Any idea how many times I've seen people doing things that other people said were "impossible," then watching the naysayers getting angry at the people doing it? Often.
How far do you want to go? True equality of the sexes means facing those things that are NSFL, and you probably won't emerge unscathed. War is hell. Killing people is never something that you can just shower away. Police work, FBI work, Interpol work, detective work, working to solve crimes, working for CPS, everything in emergency medicine, and so on and so forth, there need to be more women in these fields but you can't unsee or unlearn some things. And if you want to get into the more brutal of men's fields of work, and trust me, they're out there, the body can get damaged and that's known, but watch out for the damage it can do to the mind. The truth about these things is that there are just some things which are traumatic that you can't prepare for because they suck. They just suck. Men have monopolized these fields for a long time, likely in an attempt to spare women and other genders the pain and suffering. It hasn't worked all that well so these fields could really use a lot of women and other genders now, but know what you're in for. I'll be blunt, one reason I dislike Feminists so much is because the activist ones seem to think they deserve a medal for getting to the top of career fields that don't involve extreme danger or difficulty. I've seen women in the work environments where NSFL stuff, danger, difficulty, and risking one's life is a daily reality and they never ask for shit. They just do their jobs. AND ARE IGNORED OR ABUSED BY THE FEMINISTS. Anyway set up continuing therapy if you decide to do such a thing.
Know when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em, and when to just walk away. By all means have caution and thoroughly prepare for things but know when to throw caution to the winds and just go for it.
3/12/23 Here's a piece of information I wish I had years ago: consider who you attract by making yourself look more pretty. It's tradition to spend hours getting ready for a date, a night on the town, whatever. Okay... but the prettier you look, the more superficial and shitty the men you attract will be. You can't win. After all, unless you just want a skanky piece of ass to have some fun with, I suppose you want someone who likes you for who you are and not how you look... yeah? The emperor has no clothes. Look around you, how many shitty abusive relationships do you see where one party looks really good and the other is just having them dance for them like a puppet on a string? Yike. However, there actually are historic indications that Cleopatra, yes that Cleopatra, was devoted to her personal beauty routine, and quite good at it. So much so that legends are still told about her appearance, her perfumes, her sense of style, and how people were awestruck by her on many occasions. Also, that she was: conventionally unattractive, short, and stout. Didn't seem to stop her from doing anything. So much for conventional beauty, huh? It's a lot to think on. I am certain there are many other examples from history of people deciding on their appearance with thoughtful consideration.

Stuff that helps all women and nonbinary folks; activism-type stuff:

Get mental health access for the whole population going. Universal healthcare with mental health.
Vote, for heaven's sake
Define your relationship with your gender on your own terms. You call the shots. No one else has the right to.
Familiarize yourself with chivalry and gender roles so you can determine exactly where you stand on them and define why. Most importantly, define your absolute non-negotiable limits. Figure out how to explain all of this in reasonable terms just in case for instance someone holds a door open for you, or decides to try be a gallant gentleman and mow the lawn for you, or something. "Liking it" or "not liking it" are not good enough. What are the reasons? Not for someone else, but for you? How do you feel about all this?
Do what you can to end censorship. No more book burnings, no more cancel culture overstepping its bounds and canceling those who aren't literally evil, no more supposedly safe spaces where everything that isn't 100% positive gets you banned. None of that. Being uncomfortable is a necessary part of having freedom of speech. And I'd like to point out that if these censoring bastards had their way, you would not be reading this right now.
Promote increasing allowed immigration into first-world countries of women, children, and the LGBTQ+, particularly from countries that are ass-backwards and don't give them basic human rights
Strive to eliminate unnecessary callousness and cruelty in yourself, especially the thoughtless kind you might not notice. It's a big deal.
There are generally two types of people. Those who inherently respect women and those who don't. Come to think of it, those who don't are usually just deluded as fuck and devoid of scientific reasoning one way or the other. Having rational conversations can help bring them back down to earth. I believe that a lot of people have just ignored the second type of person and left them to be someone else's problem. You know... I think that backfired. Maybe best to have a rational discussion with such a person instead of ignore their idiotic "insights." Or worse, flame them and expect it to go well. You never know how many such conversations and experiences it might take to convince someone one way or another, but people seem to think that a person changes for the better after just one conversation, then they see the light. Nope. Seek for yourself how to prove to someone that doesn't respect women that maybe they're not all bad. I mean through science. You want change? Dig up scientific proof. Lots of it. I'll be blunt. The Chauvinists I've known have been convinceable through scientific evidence one way or another. Even most of the religious ones. The Antivaxxers on the other hand? Even via other methods of convincing such as logic, rational discourse, lawyer-type arguments set up like presenting a case in court, emotional pleas, or outright bribery? No. Thusly, despite the annoying nature of Chauvinists, you can work with this; you can work with them and meet them where they're at. They aren't unreachable like Antivaxxers or other cultist pieces of... never mind.
Also vote with the other methods of voting, explained in Fix Capitalism
Promote knowledge of obstetrics, gynecology, and midwifing to be public knowledge and taught in public schools to everyone. Too many women are just not taken seriously about pregnancy pain and labor pain, plus the dangers thereof. And that can change. Plus, if everyone and their brother and mother knows this stuff, fewer doctors can skate by with subpar medical care in labor and delivery.
It's often posited to women that buying things (more, more, more!) is some kind of empowering. Not so! It is more empowering to learn how to be happier with less. Plus, a hell of a lot cheaper, and having to buy your way into happiness is in the long run a major pain in the butt. However, buying the right things to help with quality of life now and in the future IS empowering. And it's undeniable that earning enough and having enough money on hand gives you a far higher quality of life. So it's really a question of wise purchasing and saving habits.
Think about exactly what kind of person you want to attract into your life if you ever want to date. Here's a notion: the prettier and more attractive you make yourself through makeup or whatever else, the more likely it is you will attract someone superficial. And if you were born pretty/attractive, that's an even bigger problem (or blessing, depending on if you want someone hot or someone you actually like as a person to stick around with). The opposite - someone who loves you warts and all when you look like you tumbled out of bed without making an effort - might also be problematic for assorted reasons. There are many things to consider when you step out of the house and dress up. But I hope that at least you dress how you want when you're by yourself.
Work as hard as you can for protecting children and teens and giving them rights and opportunities, because long term, that positively changes everything for everyone.
Call out bullshit as you see it. Value books, resources, and media that portrays the truth, and call out lies when you see them. It is what it is and everyone and their brother is sick of being led by nonsense, I hope.
Don't report on anyone having an abortion, no matter how ethical or unethical you might think it is. Frankly, I've known a few people who have had them, but snitching on that shit, ruining someone's reputation, ruining someone's life due to that? Dude, WTF
Oh, on that note, if you have an opinion about abortion, I'd like to suggest that you back it up with scientific evidence or logical reasoning or both, and also that you be respectful about it and willing to listen. Little secret about this website and me: I am convinceable when it comes to abortion this or that, just tired of unscientific and emotional reasoning for arguments for and against. And I'm not the only one like this.
Do what you can to help women in countries where women's rights basically don't exist. In particular by putting a lot of resources online for them to find, such as college level education, job opportunities, and ways to improve life anywhere on the globe. In particular through legal means and by getting clean water more easily. Other utilities people in first world countries take for granted and good infrastructure, and knowledge of how to make these things a reality, are desperately needed in most parts of the globe. Guess who just copes with the consequences of all that? Mostly women. Women are resourceful as fuck though, not to mention seriously tenacious. The instant internet cafes pop up in the local village or hamlet, you can bet mostly women will be trying to learn things there. Also, I might be one of the first to put this kind of info on a website but please, don't let me be the last or the only one. There's only so much I can do and so much more is needed.
If you have any good ideas as to how to promote women's rights across the whole globe, put those online. But I have to warn you that there's so much utter garbage out there babbled about in the name of "Feminism" that you'll have to have a truly exceptional idea in order to be heard above the noise.
Listen to your friends in other countries, and do what you can to support them regardless of gender. Being supportive in this case is a good example of the "small things" actually being the big things. The fight against dictatorships and totalitarian bullshit is a human rights fight, therefore a women's rights fight also.
You want to empower women? You want to empower the LGBTQ+? Guess what, we're stronger together. Women, a suggestion: visit LGBTQ community centers and attend Pride if you can. LGBTQ+ folks, well, we're (like 99% of us in my experience) already vehemently pro-women's rights, so just avoid TERFs and we're good.
Work on community building and also strengthening and improving the relationships in your life. Women are absolute pros at this. Handy, because women and nonbinary folks tend to also benefit the most from this kind of thing. Some books I am planning to investigate here to learn how to do this better include What I Learned In A Thousand Towns by Dar Williams, and basically all communication books because in case you haven't noticed, my communication skills are laughably bad.
Try to avoid intersectionality type thinking. It's a trap. Instead of seeing and judging a person for their externals, labeling and categorizing them like vegetables in a garden, think of them by their names, and your experiences with them. Also, if you care about them, make a point of both letting them know and interacting with them often, and supporting them. I mean, to have a friend be a friend, you know? Plus when it comes down to it, it's human nature to think that friends will be fine no matter how much or how little you check on them. That's also a trap. You have no idea what they're going through unless you ask! Plus, you don't want to go through long periods of time when you don't interact with people you care about. It's a very common regret later in life.
Do what you can to make sure that what hurt you and those you care about cannot hurt anyone else innocent ever again. This will assuredly be very different in different circumstances, but holy moly it's empowering. You have more answers and solutions than you think.
If you're a professional researcher, now's a good time to run large-scale, well-constructed scientific studies to determine the truth about all sorts of tropes about women, femininity, LGBTQ+ anything, masculinity, and all that other stuff. Really, what is gender? Only you can come closer to determining that. Only you. Or worst case scenario, you can explain the physical and mental makeup of different genders, but say the rest of it all is made up. But then again there's a pretty good chance that society is just going to blow a gasket and create octobods and all kinds of other stuff straight out of The Star Diaries by Stanislaw Lem, which please read. In which case I can't really predict what will happen, LOL
8/29/23 There is only one problem with raising kids to be genderblind as far as I can tell: little boys are chaos incarnate, and they are born physically stronger than little girls. This is generally the case. So if for instance I ever have a son I will tell him to never hit a girl until said girl is the age of 18 or older (at which time she will have had a chance to train to get physically strong) and is picking the fight. Feminists can fight me on this one. I don't care.

3/12/23 Ok will be posting things here that are helpful for the female gender because I can hahaha

Laying it on the line here: I have no idea how to do the two most important things for personal empowerment. 1. Self-love. "Love yourself!" and "Value yourself!" are worthless admonitions. Yeah like that fuckin helps. After the public school system I'm damn lucky to not hate myself. 2. Adequate mental health work and self-care. I've gotten good at it, but not good enough, because as mentioned previously I've been through some shit and I imagine a lot of you have also. This looks like a recipe for several years of college level study, just like I did for the other sections of this website *facepalm* oh heck. So if you have any idea how to do these things in a way that isn't just self-congratulatory bullshit like maxing out credit cards buying crystals and practicing a very watered down version of my religion (a specific kind of Witchcraft, dunno what it's called except Goddess worshipping)... eeee maybe write a book. Stuff I've found to help on both these fronts: work by Sarah Ban Breathnach. Again, it isn't enough.
After extensive viewing of Ultimate Beastmaster, and seeing the struggles of the female contestants, I noticed something peculiar: the woman that got the farthest did weight training. I've been weighing the options in my own mind for years about how to overcome the gender gap physically and concluded that whatever is the most grueling stuff that men do seems to be the best way of catching up, though the female body is not kind about its compliance with training (muscle just isn't built at the same rate as men, you can get anemic more easily, and no it damn well isn't fair). My best guesses so far: weight training, aerobics training particularly in water, track and field, ballet, sumo training, wrestling, football training, rugby training. Oh yes and eating and sleeping and resting right. Legend has it that the inventor of Chinese martial arts was a woman, perhaps that is worth looking at. Indeed things like Tai Qi and Qigong are a lot more grueling than they seem and are the root movements for a lot of Chinese martial arts. It seems that you might be able to catch up, but only if you find what works for your body and work consistently over a long period of time instead of going ham like men are able, right away and all the time - they kind of fling themselves at fitness and it works for them, but I've found it just isn't that easy (or so obvious) for women's fitness. Seems to vary from person to person, requiring experimentation over a long period of time. Interestingly, Nerd Fitness takes this head-on. And it sounds a whole lot like Convict Conditioning by "Coach" Paul Wade in some areas. Whoo, I love that book. However I have a bit of a guilty secret here. I didn't actually enjoy sporadic bodybuilding on high spoon days until I watched a certain problematic anime called How Heavy Are The Dumbbells You Lift?, mostly because the first few episodes are pretty hilarious until it starts pandering to Putin. There are other issues. I have a weird sense of humor okay?
Apparently there are some physical self-defense courses for women that you can take. I'd say go for it, and ongoing training in that regard, but only if you can find someone with experience in self-defense such as a former or current cop or soldier. And in this case I'd say find someone female, as men tend (alas) to go too easy on women in training sessions like these.
Have posted some extensive stuff about reducing period pain in various parts of the website. Here are some more tips: learn what NSAIDs (over the counter painkillers, NSAID is an acronym for non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug) work for you, and take them as directed on the bottle. Liqui-gels act a lot faster. Extended-release tablets are a lifesaver when you're gonna be dealing with pain for a while. Electrolyte drinks are also your friend. Also do not underestimate heme iron. Learn what it's in and what contains it.
Important PSA: if your periods are more than mildly inconvenient and actively horridly painful, and/or cause other seriously disruptive symptoms, then they could be the canary in the coal mine for something else that is seriously wrong with your body. It could be endometriosis, sure, but it could also be a wide variety of other things. See an internal medicine specialist with "MD" after their name, not DO or "doctor of naturopathy." Also see a gynecologist, and try to remember that the "cure-all" pill of the Birth Control Pill is uh, not a cure-all. I swear, doctors have gotten lazy over-prescribing those for too many gynecological issues as a lazy band-aid. Periods are not actually supposed to be so painful you vomit, or so unendurable that they ruin your life for several days. Those are signs that something is wrong!
Another important PSA: It is entirely possible to have an unhealthy relationship with eating and exercising without ever noticing that something is wrong because of societal norms and expectations. Particularly as it relates to any kind of attitude towards these things that brings emotion into the picture, maybe in an unhealthy manner. There are just so many unspoken assumptions. Very few that make any sense if you think about them.
If you get a set of nylon mesh bags, or reuse some nylon pantyhose or tights and tie them off, and stick bras in those before you launder them they will last longer
Using the comfiest sports bra in the arsenal to go to sleep or relax in may actually be more comfortable than no bra, particularly if you feel like lounging around the house later on
It is highly doubtful that you will ever have b.o. as bad as a man's when you work out. This is one of the perks of being female, and thank goodness for that, men tend to smell like goats (wash yourself men!!!) I mention this because often women freak out about allllll the products to make them no longer have b.o. like... ladies, we don't usually need all that. Men do. A quick shower is usually all that's needed for us (physically female folks)
Baby wipes are helpful to carry around and to keep at home in the bathroom. Helpful for when you just can't freshen up with a full shower.
Test pepper spray in a non-windy, isolated location outdoors once every six months to ensure the spray nozzle is not clogged and still works, and that you know how to use it
Speaking of arms, if you can, I highly recommend getting a concealed carry license, carrying it, and regularly training at a good range. Use ear protection. Use gun safety. Stay up to date on the latest safety precautions and follow them.
Speaking as a genderqueer person, the last vestiges of chivalry will never be something that I completely give up. I'm not sorry, I'm going to put ladies first. There are plenty of folks like me tbh, and please understand, not all the folks like this are this way because of some stupid belief that women are worth less or are "weaker." What part of "ladies first" is not understood here?! Reason for this, despite all the gender equality stuff I usually am upholding and all that: I honestly can't explain it. It's an instinct. In fact I often remind myself to stand back and not make women feel disempowered by the usual chivalrous stuff like opening doors and mowing lawns and heaven knows what else. Like I said, genderqueer is strange. But I think it's stranger that women have been made to feel disempowered by the very things supposedly intended to benefit them. That really pisses me off. You can't just go spouting off "women first" when it means the exact opposite.
Also speaking as a genderqueer/genderfluid person, yeah I'm right in the middle of this weird gender shit. Ladies, I know a thing or two about how men think, since my maleness is soul-deep (TERFs, fuck off). They are not another species. They laugh, they cry, they bleed, they're every bit as diverse as the women, and in my experience most of them are both just as sensitive and just as terrified of social censure as women. Don't fear men. Oh, also, gender is irrelevant when it comes to psychopaths. They come in all shapes, sizes and genders, and sometimes you think you know someone but they turn out to be a psycho. Muddling the issue with gender doesn't work. That's my experience. I think bias comes into play for both cis genders out of fear. It's not all that rational.
6/4/23 Pretty good yardstick for figuring out if someone is worth listening to or not for empowerment-type advice as a feminine person, for a feminine person: how often do they talk about men? Whether it's to talk them up or to insult them, who the hell cares? Seriously. If it's clear that every so often this person takes a jab at a gender they don't like, obviously that person has that gender on their mind a lot and probably needs to get a life.

"Women's Intuition"

Here's how I teach people who want to develop psychic abilities, which is precisely what "women's intuition" actually is. Get a notebook and write down all psychic phenomena that make themselves known to you over time, impressions, gut instincts, and so on. Get a buddy who is also possibly psychically sensitive or intuitive. Now before you tell them anything about what you wrote down, ask them what they are sensing. Compare and contrast that with what you've written down. The more their observations and yours match over time (and you have to do this umpteen gazillion times), the more likely it is that your abilities are the real deal. However, in order to add another element of ensuring you're not just both hallucinating and/or delusional, it's very important to check both of your observations for each instance to see if they match up with any corroborating evidence in the physical world. The more evidence, and the more unlikely you'd have ever found the physical evidence without the psychic stuff helping, the better. I will warn you that having abilities like this is no joke and there's a lot of freaky stuff out there. There's a pretty good chance that once you tune in you'll want to turn the ability off, kind of like no longer beeing able to see after seeing too much, but you will probably never be able to. Also, you will need to set up spiritual protections, which is a whole other topic entirely and goes straight under the subheadings of religion and spirituality, which see.
Some may also say that "women's intuition" is the art of noticing that which other genders don't. Interestingly, in my own extensive experience watching women that I know and interacting with them, meaning this isn't great science but just a phenomenological model aka a guess based on many years of scrutiny and observation, I'd say that women seem to notice and pick up on what seems to be insignificant details more often than men do, which men tend to just completely overlook. This seeming ability of women to multitask and see more details, more of the time might be significant. Then again it might not.

The Special Gifts of Being a Woman, or Feminine

I must admit I am not the greatest at understanding these. But, having been born and raised female til I hit 18 or so, despite never being quite 100% female (genderfluid is a weird way to exist) I did pick up a few things. Will add to this as I remember. First and foremost the soft power approach. Am I saying that the American methods of soft power are uniquely feminine? Without a doubt... yes. Courtesy, hospitality, diplomacy, manners, collaboration, and reaching for win-win solutions for power-with instead of power-over type scenarios, these are things that women excel at. I mean, just look at what Jackie Kennedy did for the country in her capacity as First Lady. It is highly doubtful we would be as successful as a country if it hadn't been for the women, particularly First Ladies. Another good example is Lady Bird Johnson. People in Texas still take pictures in the bluebonnets and wildflowers along the sides of the highways. She's the reason those wildflowers are there.
There is something to be said for feminine compassion. It is different from male compassion. Gentler. Indeed, probably stronger. And there is nothing like a mother's love. Both Feminists and Chauvinists denigrate all of this! There's no good reason for that!
For many years now I've been searching for the kinds of things to help me understand what good things there are about being feminine or female. Simply looking pretty doesn't cut it; there's much more to it than that. I've come to the conclusion that in most cases the trail has run cold. The magazines that used to help with this kind of thing are no longer in print, the women who still remember seem to be in retirement homes or otherwise unavailable for comment, and finding this stuff is like pulling teeth. Difficult. I have found a few embers remaining of all this feminine wisdom, particularly in back issues of said magazines (fashion, home and garden, beauty, teenager stuff, etc.), older books on the same topics from like 40 years ago or more, and even some relics of art and fashion. But it's tough to find. I'm sorry, but the modern-day supposed "good things about being female" are just a mirror image of masculinity, thanks to Feminism, which essentially almost wiped out centuries of feminine wisdom in one generation. We've got to find it before it disappears forever.
10/31/22 You ever notice how some women just have entire family groups or communities eating out of the palm of their hand? Kids revere them, grandkids dote on them, any gender speaks reverently of them? How do they do that? I think it's straight up kind of simple. They're amazing. A lot of folks will decry old hags and Witches and so on and so forth and in the same breath tell you they're going to go visit their Nana. So sure, we've got a societal problem with the way elderly women are portrayed, but it's not as bad as you'd think. Only problem is that I don't think enough of us know such a Nana (want to become such a Nana someday? go for it). So if you're female or some kind of feminine gender and afraid of aging, consider what kind of cool elderly lady you'd like to become later on. You always have a choice. Aging looks really good on some people. Also happy Halloween. 3/12/23 Uh just realized this makes no sense if you are not into Goddess worship. Halloween in Goddess-focused Witchcraft is a celebration honoring the Crone. 5/19/23 By the way, if your conception of the Crone is "elderly woman" and that's it, then you don't understand. Maiden: birth and its mysteries and beginnings. Mother: life and motherhood and its mysteries and continuance. Crone: death and its mysteries and endings. These are words used to describe that which can't be described; the big questions of life and divinity. There are many other interpretations of the Three In One and all of them are worth considering, meditating on, and thinking about.
3/12/23 Reddit thread of men explaining things that apparently all men do Yeah if you were also born into a female body, and also go "WTF!" at everything in here, then you too may understand the need to figure out how and why physical men and physical women are mentally and physically wired differently. I just asked my husband "HOW DOES THE NOTHING BOX WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT NOTHING FOR LITERALLY MINUTES WORK HOW DO YOU LIVE" and he just went "idunno." Men are weird. Also, I never seem to see Reddit threads of things like this but for women... uh, why? I know they exist I have seen these things existing, like for instance that scene in the uncensored version of Huckleberry Finn where Huck is cross-dressing and pretending to be a runaway girl then drops something between his legs while he is seated and spreads his knees apart so the object falls to the floor, and the woman who's watching sees right through it and says something like "only boys do that, girls catch the item in their laps" and damn if that hasn't happened to me and every other physical female I've ever known, and never to the guys. Also public spaces for women are apparently serene havens in comparison to their male counterparts, such as locker rooms, bathrooms, communal showers in gyms, and so on and so forth. Can confirm, no one wants to start drama in these. (and for the record as someone genderqueer it was... a weird experience, and a major reason why I have absolutely zero desire to join an all-female Goddess-worshipping coven that just works in the nude, like... do you even want someone like me there? and how to get over the awkward?... ye skyclad just isn't my thing) And oh yes, the chocolate thing is obviously real, men just don't get it. (some time later) Ah, after one heck of a search I found a ten year old reddit thread of this exact thing here. Looks like good ol' reddit is doing the moderation thing where it fucks everything up and every thread remotely like this one gets downvoted to shit (see recent reposts of same or similar question, 0 upvotes). Also, holy shit, the technique for pad folding of toilet paper is something I learned years ago and have used several times since: fold up the toilet paper into pad shape, wrap more toilet paper over it crosswise so it binds it to the undies, then tuck it under the crosswise piece on the top of the underwear. Use twice as much as you think you need both of "pad" and binding. Makes it not nearly as likely to fall out. Double up on underwear if you have to use this to help ensure it doesn't decide to migrate (yikes). Memorize it, use this, it will help. Also cringing at the "you'll definitely pee when you laugh or cough when you are middle aged" comment - that is what doing Kegels is for, to prevent that kind of thing, they are not just for pregnant women!!! Argh!!!
3/13/23 Say what you will about the female gender, but there is one major asset I've consistently noticed and I don't think it's just my imagination. People born with female bodies often seem to instinctively understand that there is more - much more - to life than dog-eat-dog competition and building up raw strength in any form. Neither men nor chauvinists nor Feminists seem to actually understand this notion. "If you're on top I'm on bottom! There are only winners and losers and you want to be powerful and strong and at the top of the food chain! There is no in between or compromise! What world could there possibly be outside of this All Important Struggle?" Right.
4/13/23 Have you heard it's a man's world? Do you believe it? Hee hee hee hee. Are you sure?
5/11/23 Here's an insight you will not hear from a lot of folks... what men want in the bedroom to please them. Technique. That's it. You can apply makeup and lingerie and cook and clean and do all the rest all day long. But men want someone good in the sack, and that is what is most attractive to them, and that boils down to technique. Buy the books. Buy all the books. Enthusiasm and letting him boss you around (saw this in a sex advice book once... sigh, not exactly brilliant) is not even close to enough. In fact, it's what men are told they care about and all the other stuff is what women are told men care about. Oh, not even. No, they don't give a shit, at least the good ones don't. As for the cooking and cleaning and looking good stuff, it certainly helps the men be more attractive to women but non-abusive non-sexist men uh, do not prioritize that. In fact they seem to be wired to really not give a shit about habitat, edibles, and general living conditions, not really noticing that they live kind of like sentient blobs. Sexism and consumerism has indoctrinated a lot of men and women into thinking that this is a lot more complicated than it actually is. No it isn't. Technique. Men, I swear. (Yes, again, being genderfluid is weird). One more thing, from my husband: abuse is the most unattractive thing a woman can do. Screaming at a guy on the first date, for instance, or violating a guy's free will without their consent, or emotionally manipulating someone, or blackmail. You'd (maybe) be surprised at how many people have never learned this lesson.
5/11/23 Here's another insight for the road. Neither my husband nor I have any idea what women find attractive. His guess was "honesty?" Mine: I think it might have something to do with how society tells women to stifle their voice and even their thoughts and emotions, til a lot of them don't even know what they really like or prefer. We can make generalizations all we like but it doesn't seem to be simple or wise to make blanket statements here. But other than that we have no clue. So I suppose if you're female it might be worth asking yourself the question?

A specific plea to women who take care of children, their own or others, 4/18/23 because it has to be said

Examine exactly how you consciously or subconsciously may be contributing to gender roles as they relate to personal empowerment and personal voice in the mind of the little one. Every time you stifle a little ones voice to make them conform to social norms, or to make them easier to handle by telling them to fight less hard or in a different way (or not at all) for what they need or want, you may just cripple them, possibly for life. If you go too far you may give them a victim mentality, which is when someone's self esteem is so crippled that they wind up in bad situations due to believing they don't deserve better. Be careful.

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